Clean Hands, Clean Heart – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I hereby issue an edict. Lady Human must wash her hands before she touches me.

Me:        What? Why? I wash my hands a lot.

Stella:    Not from what I scented off you just now.

Me:        Well, somebody has to clean up around here.

Stella:    Don’t look at me!

Me:        I don’t.

Stella:    Get Sweetie to help you. She knows how to mop. But then she’ll need to wash her paws before she plays with me.

Me:        Okay. What about you when you go prancing through the dirt and mud? You don’t wash your paws before you start putting them on me.

Stella:    Different.

Me:        How?

Stella:    My paws are naturally clean.

Me:        Really?

Stella:    Here. Smell.

Me:        Uh, no thank you, but anyway.

Stella:    Here. Smell.

Me:        Uh, I don’t really smell anything but dog.

Stella:    See! I don’t stink. Now go wash your hands and you can pet me.

Me:        How gracious of you, Stella.

Stella:    Yes. Yes, it is. Now go wash your hands. I want to be petted. Clean hands, clean heart.

Me:        Where did you hear that?

Stella:    One of those things you were reading aloud out of that book that smells good like leather.

Me:        Oh, right. I guess I wasn’t listening to what I was reading. That’s from Psalm 24 in the Bible. But I don’t think it means that you will have a clean heart if you wash your hands.

Stella:    Clean heart or not, you are not petting me until you wash your hands.

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Stella’s Blog – If Only I Had Hands

Hello, people! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. My transcriptionist has promised not to interrupt my blog this time.

(Transcriptionist: Unless absolutely necessary.)

That was an interruption. What is it that the baseball people say? STRIKE ONE!

I pay much attention to the humans and what they do. Here are some of the things I have noticed:

They balance on only two legs. Amazing! (Shhh! Don’t tell them how impressed I am. Oh, that’s right. Lady Human is my transcriptionist. Well then, truthfully, I am not all that impressed.)

They have boxes that roll on wheels so that we can go places. They don’t even have to run with their feet to make it go. We can all go without using our legs to push it.

Best of all, they have these wonderful long things on the ends of their arms called “hands” and they can do just about anything with them.

Think of all the things that I could do if I had hands.

I could take the little black box and push the buttons to make the TV louder or quieter when I want to. And I could watch MY favorite shows, not the annoying ones that the humans pick.

I could turn the knobs on the doors to enter and leave whatever room whenever. The whole house – all for me!

I could turn on and drive the big box with the wheels. Where would I go? I have no idea. Probably not very far because I don’t know how to drive and my legs aren’t long enough to reach the speed pedals on the box’s floor.

I could open the treat bags and pick out my favorite flavor whenever I would like. No more waiting on the humans to clue in that “Treat Time” is all the time.

But a bulldog dream is all that is. We still have to depend on the humans. Maybe that is one reason that the Great Creator made us without hands so that the humans would have to extend their hands to us.

Oh, well…Until next time, I remain

Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Dogs Don’t Have Hands – Thank God!

I truly am grateful that the LORD did not give dogs long fingers and opposable thumbs. Can you imagine the chaos and the competition? If He had done so, those old velvet paintings of dogs playing poker and smoking cigars might have been based on real life.

What brings up this outburst of thanksgiving that dogs have stubby little toes and no manual dexterity to speak of? One or more of our dogs OPENED THE BACK DOOR!

To be clear, the door was shut but not locked. There was no wind, not so much as a breeze. I was the only human awake in the house. There was no banging or sound of pushing against the door, not even horseplay (similar to bulldog play). I was finishing my breakfast in the kitchen when…a clatter, a bump, and the sound of objects falling…

I ran into the den. The door was wide open and there were dogs, dancing. The sounds I had heard were from the door knocking into my shelf by my chair and my pencil case falling over and spilling. Somebody of the canine classification had opened the door.

Now someone may argue, “Oh, you just didn’t close the door well,” which is exactly what my son suggested when he came in to check out the ruckus. But I am careful to close the door fully, complete with the click of the latch, when I let the dogs out into the yard because I don’t want them to wander back into the den alone while I am in another part of the house. They have a habit of strolling around the room, selecting choice human items or furnishings to taste or move or run around with in their big bulldoggy mouths. Closing the door completely is a habit of mine.

So how did they open it? Our patio door has an extended handle instead of a doorknob. I suspect that one of the little boogers stood up on her hind legs and pulled down on the handle with one or two paws. They have seen me do it every day. I watched Tiger almost accomplish the feat a few months ago. But Tiger wasn’t outside this time. That means someone else got a clue and actually did it.

20160331_140801.jpg

So now I will lock the patio door when the dogs go out. And we will be fine until one of them figures out that piece of the puzzle which is unlikely because God wisely saw fit not to give them hands. Thank You, Lord!

“…marvelous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalm 139:14 KJV

 

©2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.