Put a Sock in It! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ahh-oooo! Ahh-ooo!

Me: Sweetie, what in the world are you howling at?

Sweetie: I’m telling the loud chicken to put a sock in it!

Me: I think you mean the rooster.

Sweetie: I think I mean the loud chicken that keeps yelling at the sky!

Me: Yeah, that’s a rooster. Crowing is his thing.

Doodlebug: Pretty soon, he’s going to find out what real crowing sounds like, bulldog-style!

Sweetie: Ahhh-oooo-oooo! Some roosters don’t know when to shut up!

MoonCat:  So says the crowing bulldog.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Ordinary Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What special thing is happening today, Lady Human?

Me: Uh…nothing that I know of.

Doodlebug: But you are in charge! Haven’t you scheduled anything special?

Me: Uh…not that I know of. Oh, and that notion that I am in charge of everything that happens? I thought we had that straightened out. I’m not!

Sweetie: Well, that’s inconvenient.

Doodlebug: So what kind of day is this?

Me: I don’t know. An ordinary one? Maybe?

Sweetie: Boring!

Me: Boring can be good.

MoonCat: Ordinary? Boring? With no special bulldog nonsense? Sounds restful. Pardon me while I nap.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

KING! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: So what?

Me: Settle down, girl.

Sweetie: I mean it, Lady Human. How come he gets to run his big floppy mouth about being king, whatever that means.

Me: Everybody’s got opinions.

Doodlebug: My being King is not an opinion, ma’am. It’s fact!

Me: Okay, what does it mean to be a king?

Doodlebug: Well…just what it says. A king is…A king gets to…

Sweetie: You see! He doesn’t even know. Well, guess what? I’m the King, too! So there!

MoonCat: So what?

Me: I think we’re going to have to ponder this a little more.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All RightsvReserved.

A Toe Stompin’ Good Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Owwww!

Sweetie: Lady Human, what is all that noise?

Me: You’re standing on my foot!

Sweetie: Oh, big deal!

Me: Yeah, big deal! You’re not exactly a featherweight.

Doodlebug: Here! Let me try. See if I’m a featherweight.

Me: Stop! I already know. You’re not.

MoonCat: And everybody wonders why I keep my paws tucked up under me all the time. Simple self defense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Step Back! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Do you see where I am standing?

Sweetie: I see. I just don’t care. My feet belong where they are. Everybody else, take your feet away! Lady Human, back me up here.

Me: I’m just trying to move from Point A to Point B without tripping. I’ve got no dog in this fight.

Doodlebug: Uh, excuse me, ma’am, but you have two dogs in this fight. Clear passageways are important.

MoonCat: Bulldogs never know what’s really important. My cushion. My bowls. My places. Me. I’m important. I thought everybody knew that by now.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Bulldog of Plants – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those big green spiky plants have grown again.

Me: Yeah, the cactus leaves have really gotten big this year.

Sweetie: And spiky. Don’t forget spiky.

Doodlebug: With big ole flowers.

Sweetie: And spikes.

MoonCat: Spikes don’t bother me because I don’t stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Me: Yeah, the spikes tend to keep trespassers cautious.

Sweetie: Ah, cactus – the bulldog of plants.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

How to Win a Bulldog Argument – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, Lady Human, that’s my cushion and it goes over there.

Me: I have to move it against the wall so I won’t trip over it.

Sweetie: I don’t trip over it. Why should you?

Doodlebug: Hey, ma’am, those are my comfy blankets. Bring ’em here!

Me: After they’ve been washed and dried, you can have them back.

Sweetie: I don’t think she knows who’s in charge.

Doodlebug: She seems confused.

Me: I am in charge! Me! And I don’t give up.

Sweetie: Hey, Doodle, she hasn’t been paying attention, has she?

Doodlebug: We’ll wait until she leaves the room.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grilling Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that wonderful aroma floating on the air? Wait! I know!

Sweetie: No! I know it first! It’s meat cooking outside. It’s a grilling day! And about time, too!

Me: Well, someone is grilling, but it’s not us.

Sweetie: Whatever do you mean, Lady Human? Why in the world not?

Me: Barbecue grilling isn’t the only grilling going on outside today. Or didn’t you notice the heat?

MoonCat: Just keep the icy air box going, ma’am, and bring on the nice cold tunafish.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Forward! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Those strange humans are back on our street, Lady Human!

Sweetie: Yeah, listen to all that noise! Let’s go!

Doodlebug: Yeah, let’s go chase ’em off!

Sweetie: BULLDOG CHARGE!

Me: Hold on just a second! Those are the trash collector people. The noise is from their big trucks. You don’t want to chase them off!

Sweetie: Who told them they could come snatch our trash away?

Doodlebug: Yeah! We may need that stuff someday…sometime…maybe.

Sweetie: If it doesn’t smell too bad. Save the garbage!

MoonCat: I think I’ll just find a nice out of the way spot where no one will see me. Best way to avoid nonsense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Let an Expert Take Charge! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Something must be done and I am just the one to do it!

Me: Do what?

Doodlebug: It better not involve my food.

Me: Just what are you going to do, Sweetie?

Sweetie: You’ll know it when you see it.

Me: I still don’t understand…

Sweetie: Stand aside, please. Coming through.

MoonCat: Once again, welcome to the inexplicable world of bulldogges.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Head Rest – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Me: Sweetie, what are you doing?

Sweetie: Just stay seated where you are, Lady Human.

Me: You’re nudging my leg over.

Sweetie: Yes, it’s almost perfect. There. The perfect head rest. Just the way I like it.

Me: You might want to ask me first next time. There are things I need to get up to do.

Sweetie: Never you mind about all that, ma’am. Being my head rest is the only job you have for now.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grumble Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Errrrrr…

Sweetie: Errrrrr yourself! My errrrrr is better than your errrrrr. You just sound like wah, wah, wah…

Doodlebug: Says who?

Sweetie: Says ME, that’s WHO!

Me: What’s all the noise about?

MoonCat: Nothing important enough to wake me from my nap, that’s what!

Sweetie: Where’s my snack? And where has the sun gone? How can I sunbathe without a sun to bathe in?

Doodlebug: And when it going to stop raining? Stupid sky!

Me: Anything else y’all want to complain about? No, forget I said that.

Sweetie: As a matter of fact…

Doodlebug: Don’t get me started.

Me: Too late for that apparently.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Parakeet Dictionary – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m confused.

MoonCat: Is that new and unusual?

Me: What’s the confusion?

Sweetie: Those chattering birds.

Me: The parakeets.

Sweetie: Whatever. I need a word book to understand them.

Me: Like a dictionary?

Doodlebug: Like a “this means this” and “that means that” book, because they make no sense at all and they only talk birdy talk all the time.

MoonCat: Excuse me, please, while I spend my day in a worthwhile pursuit – naptime.

Doodlebug: Start pencil scratching, Lady Human. First word: “Ack”. Always said in a loud voice.

Me: Well, I’m not sure, but it seems to mean they’re excited.

Sweetie: ACK!

Me: Oh, that’s way loud!

Sweetie: I’m bulldog excited! Okay, keep writing! Next word…

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.