I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, too much human talk is being thrown around.
Doodlebug: Yes. For example, we don’t know or care why the egg blew up. Talking about it just makes us think about it more and worry.
Sweetie: Yes, ma’am. Stop talking and spend the time making sure eggs stay in their shells.
MoonCat: Maybe that fella has some ideas.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Whoa! Loud noise! Loud noise! Run around in circles!
Me: Calm down. An egg exploded. That’s all.
Sweetie: How come? Where? How dare an egg act up like that!
Me: I’m boiling some eggs and one of them blew its top. Literally. You see, there’s a little pocket of air inside the eggshell and when it heats up, it can…
Doodlebug: No explanation necessary, Lady Human. Really. No explanation.
MoonCat: Just don’t let it happen again.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. It’s raining, Lady Human!
Me: Yes, I noticed.
Sweetie: It’s raining hard!
Me: Right again!
Sweetie: Look at Roo-Roo the Rooster. He’s all dry! How come he gets to be all dry?
Me: He’s standing under his doorway. He has the good sense to stay in out of the rain.
Doodlebug: So why are we all standing out in it?
MoonCat: Some of us have more chicken sense than bulldog sense.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
“Me, too.”
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: We have an idea, Lady Human.
Me: Uh-oh.
Doodlebug: It’s a great idea. You can punch a big bulldog-sized hole in the wall so that we can go out and come in all night long and you won’t even know.
Me: And so can all the other local roaming visitors like possums and skunks and rats and snakes…
Sweetie: Whoa whoa whoa!
Me: …and raccoons and coyotes and…
Doodlebug: Very well then. Nevermind. We were just trying to help.
MoonCat: Occasionally, the humans do have a good idea.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, why are you sitting, looking outside?
Me: Sometimes I just look.
Doodlebug: But you’ve looked at it all before.
Me: Sometimes I notice something new that’s always been there.
Sweetie: Sounds like you weren’t paying attention.
Doodlebug: Dogs pay attention. It’s dangerous not to.
MoonCat: Sounds like she’s paying attention now.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, we need our own bathroom inside the house.
Doodlebug: Going outside at all hours is too inconvenient for us and for you.
Me: No. No. Absolutely not. A line has to be drawn sometimes and this is one of those lines.
Sweetie: How come? MoonCat gets her potty in the house.
Me: Cats are different.
MoonCat: Amen to that.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: I don’t give a hoot nor a holler about all that stuff on TV. I need something funny to watch.
Sweetie: Hoot?
Doodlebug: Holler?
Me: Yeah, like when people are laughing or cutting up.
Sweetie : Cutting up?
Doodlebug: This is just getting more confusing.
MoonCat: Welcome to my bulldog world.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, how come your head is stuck all the way inside the big cold box?
Me: I’ve got a hankering for something to eat, but I don’t know what.
Sweetie: Can I have a hankering? It sounds delicious.
Doodlebug: Me, too! Me, too! Are hankerings crunchy?
Me: The hankering is your want-to. The desire. The hunger.
Doodlebug: I’ve got all of that.
Sweetie: Yeah, hand it over, whatever it is.
MoonCat: Be careful what you hanker after.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, your nose is wet. My nose is wet. We are twins. Hey, your nose is bubbling. Not fair. Where are my bubbles?
Me: I guess we aren’t twins after all.
Doodlebug: My nose is dry. Not fair.
Me: Don’t worry. You’re not missing a thing. Running noses are nothing to sneeze at.
Doodlebug: Noses can run off?
MoonCat: If a nose starts to run off, just let it go.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 