The Saw Monster is Loose – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Stay away! Stay away! Everybody stay away!

Me:        There’s not a problem, Stella.

Stella:    Yes, there is! The Saw Monster is eating a tree.

Me:        Well, everyone should stay away from the backyard until the tree trimming is done. That’s true.

Stella:    The Saw Monster is loose! Beware! The Saw Monster is loose! Oh, no! Tall Man is out there! Warn him!

Me:        If you’ll notice, Tall Man has hold of the…what did you call it? The Saw Monster. It is a tool that he uses to trim the trees.

Wiggles:   I need to go potty.

Me:        That’s going to have to wait a little until he is finished with the tree. That limb he cut off was stretching way out over the yard. He was concerned that it was going to crack and fall on one of us some day. He is cutting it away and chopping it up, so nobody gets hurt.

Tiger:   Won’t the tree be hurt?

Me:        No, it’s a pecan tree. Pecans self-prune all the time. It was only a matter of time before it dropped that limb. It has done it before.

Miss Sweetie:    I think we should thank Tall Man for saving our lives.

Me:        I think so, too.

Miss Sweetie:    I don’t want any ole tree dropping anything on me, unless it is something to eat.

Doodlebug:   If any old tree dropped anything on me, boy, it’d be sorry. I’d just eat that ole tree up myself.

Miss Sweetie:    Hush up, Doodle. You don’t know anything about trees.

Stella:    Or Saw Monsters. Watch out for Saw Monsters. How do we know that Tall Man is all right out there? I hear the Saw Monster going to town.

Me:        He is wearing protective equipment, even chainsaw chaps on his legs in case the saw slips.

Stella:    The saw can slip? I told you he should not be out there by himself! Everybody, get ready to charge. We’re taking over! The humans do not know what they are doing!

Me:        Nope! Nobody is going anywhere. No interference. You will stay in here where it is safe until he is finished.

Wiggles:   What about potty?

Me:        I’ll take you out on the other side of the yard. Nobody will miss potty time.

Stella:    You’d better believe it. No Saw Monster is cutting into my bathroom break.





Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.







What’s Going On? Stella’s Alert to the Pack – Conversations with Stella

Alert! Alert! Something is going on! Oh, by the way, I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Help! Alert! Lady Human! Whatever is going on, MAKE IT STOP!

Me:        Nothing is going on except that the whole pack is barking. Why don’t you tell everyone to calm down and stop it?

Stella:    I can’t until we know the danger is past.

Me:        There is no danger.

Stella:    Yes, there is; otherwise, the pack would not be up in arms!

Me:        There is no danger.

Stella:    Why do you keep saying that? Do you think that we are insane? You are human. Humans are supposed to know everything.

Me:        Stella, the look you are giving me says that you think that I am the insane one. It’s your straight brow, the face that says you are stuck between worry and disbelief.

Stella:    I am! What is going on? Help!

Me:        What is going on? Tall Man just got home from work. That’s all that is going on. Okay. Can you calm down now?

Stella:    Tall Man? Came home?

Me:        Didn’t you see him walk through?

Stella:    Yes. But everyone was barking and jumping around. Like something was wrong. And I just assumed…

Me:        …that something was wrong, but there wasn’t. Someone heard something. It was Tall Man. Someone saw something. It was Tall Man. Someone started barking without asking why. Then everyone else started barking without asking why.

Stella:    Oh. I see. You must think we are foolish.

Me:        No more than my fellow humans who do the same thing every day.

Stella:    Lady Human, we still hope that humans know everything.

Me:        We don’t. Get used to it. Only God knows everything. And do you know what that is?

Stella:    Yep. Good news.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.