Watched Pots – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where is Lady Human?

Sweetie: She’s here in the food room, staring at a pot.

Doodlebug: Did the pot ask to be stared at?

Sweetie: Yeah, is it that good-looking, ma’am? Is it better looking than I am? ‘Cuz I don’t think so.

Me: No, I’m just heating some water to make tea.

Doodlebug: Does staring at it help?

Me: No, in fact, there’s an old saying about watched pots never boiling and…

Sweetie: Then stop it right now!

MoonCat: Yes, because I’m staring at my empty food bowl and it’s still not filling up.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Tyranny of the Clock – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you all have fouled things up again.

Me: Whatever do you mean?

MoonCat: Meow. Dinnertime. Late. Fix it. Now.

Me: Well, I’ve been going by the time change, so, yes, I guess mealtimes seem late the last few days.

Doodlebug: Seem? There’s no seem about it. Where’s the food?

Me: Since it’s been getting a little darker earlier and the time changed, you all have been eating at different times so…

Sweetie: I’m not talking about what WE have been doing. I’m talking about what YOU have been doing. How come meals are late?

MoonCat: Meow. We have been patient.

Sweetie: Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You humans have been fooling around with the sun again. Telling us when it will rise and when it will set.

Doodlebug: Yeah, as though you know!

MoonCat: I know this. Hungry. Food. Give it. NOW!

Outright 2023 H. J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Keep Your Paws Off of Our Stuff – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Don’t touch what’s not yours. Nothing on the floor is yours.

Sweetie: Then why do you throw food on the floor?

Me: I don’t. That comes from big bulldog mouths knocking food bowls about. I’m talking about keeping your paws and mouths off other people’s stuff.

MoonCat: Leave me out of the discussion. I mind my own things

Doodlebug: But you put your paws on other people’s stuff, Lady Human.

Sweetie: Yeah. You’re all the time touching my stuff. Our stuff. Well, it’s mostly mine.

Doodlebug: My stuff. Chew sticks. Balls. That softy toy.

Sweetie: Beds.

Me: Poop? Is that poop outside yours?

Doodlebug: Nope. It doesn’t have my name on it.

Sweetie: Nope. Anyway you can’t prove it.

Doodlebug: Hey, Lady Human, you can put your paws on all that poop outside. It’s all yours now.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Summertime Dining – Conversations with Sweetie and Doodlebug

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where is supper being served?

Me: On the patio.

Sweetie: No, thank you. I’ll have mine inside if you don’t mind. Or even if you do.

Me: You used to eat on the patio all the time. I’ve noticed you ignore your food out there lately.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you don’t eat outside. How come?

Me: Well…

Sweetie: I’ll tell you how come.

Doodlebug: Oh boy, here we go.

Sweetie: It’s nasty outside in the hot. And those pesky flying pesks…

Me: Flies.

Sweetie: If you say so…those critters want to put their dirty little feet on my food. So I’ll have mine inside, thank you.

Me: How about you, Doodle?

Doodlebug: Food is food, hot weather or cold. I say, bring it on! I haven’t let a pesky fly carry off a single bite of my food yet. Not about to start now. Let’s eat!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Set in Our Ways – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that you are doing, Lady Human? What is in your hand?

Me: Well, it’s your food bowl.

Doodlebug: It’s not my food bowl. My food bowl is always over there, ready when I want it.

Sweetie: Yeah, what are you trying to do, ma’am? Confuse us? Leave well enough alone.

Me: His food bowl comes close to getting spilled every time I walk through here.

Doodlebug: Then don’t walk through here. Walk through there.

MoonCat: Meow. Don’t move my food bowl. How will I find it in the dark?

Me: Uh, the same way you find everything else in the dark?

MoonCat: Hmmm. Questionable.

Sweetie: We are set in our ways. If it ain’t fixed, don’t break it.

Me: I think you mean “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.

Sweetie: That’s what I said.

Doodlebug: We like the way we have things set up. If you go changing the setup, no telling what might happen.

Sweetie: Yeah, Lady Human, we might go changing your set ways. Then where might your food bowl end up.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Fumble Fingers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you trying to do, Lady Human?

Sweetie: Whatever it is, you make it look hard.

Me: I’m just opening a can of tuna for MoonCat. Oh, no! Fumble fingers. I just spilled some.

Sweetie: I hope you don’t expect ME to eat that. It’s been on the floor.

Me: As if that’s ever mattered to y’all before. No, I’ll clean it up.

MoonCat: Wait a moment. Don’t be so hasty.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.