The Water Bowl Mystery – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Strange things occur in the houses of humans.

Me:        What other kinds of houses are there?

Stella:    Birdhouses.

Me:        Okay. I’ll give you that one.

Stella:    Cow houses.

Me:        Let’s call those ‘barns’.

Stella:    Rabbit condos.

Me:        Okay. We did have one of those.

Stella:    Cat houses.

Me:        Well, that can mean more than one thing. Let’s just say that cats live mostly in human houses. What strange things are you talking about?

Stella:    My water bowl is empty. I go outside. I come back in. My water bowl is clean and full. Mystery.

Me:        Not really. What happens is…

Snoopey:    Are you that silly? What do you think happens? She cleans and fills the water bowl while you are outside sniffing around.

Miss Sweetie:    But it’s happened to me, too. Sure, sometimes Lady Human cleans and refills my water bowl right in front of me, but other times…I go outside. I come back in. It’s all clean and full of new water. Mystery.

Stella:    You see! Sweetie knows. She has seen it!

Tiger:     You all are the goofiest things going. Whether you are outside or in, she cleans your bowls and pours more water in. No mystery. Done and done.

Doodlebug:   Water is water. Who cares how it gets there?

Wiggles:   Yeah, that’s wise.

Snoopey:   Wise, nothin’! You’d better hope Lady Human is around to clean and refill bowls!

Stella:    No, Snoopey! The humans have this story about a man in a red suit who comes around one night a year, bringing presents, toys, food, all kinds of good stuff, and he is never seen, and he disappears into the night and it’s a mystery.

Snoopey:   He had better show up more than once a year if you’re depending on water from him.

Me:        That’s a story. I’ll tell you about the real man that story is based on sometime soon. Meanwhile, the truth is…

Stella:    The truth is our water bowls get cleaned. The truth is our water bowls get refilled. A mystery. One for which I am grateful.

Me:        Amen. Let’s just leave it at that for now.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

Potty Mouths – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, hereby decree that potty mouths will no longer be tolerated in my kingdom which includes the hallway, the utility room, the kitchen, the den, and, of course, the human bathrooms.

Me:        Potty mouths?

Stella:    Is that not the correct human term?

Me:        It is a human term, but what do you mean by it?

Stella:    Touching nasty things with your mouth and thereby getting a dirty mouth. Isn’t that the human meaning?

Me:        Not exactly. Potty mouth to us has more to do with what comes out of our mouths than what goes into them.

Stella:    That, too! Have you seen Sweetie’s water bowl today? That dirt didn’t just jump in there all by itself. Bottom line, no more potty mouths. Bulldogs, if you see something on the floor, that is not an invitation to eat it. Only eat food. That will save a lot of trouble right there.

Tiger:     What if it smells good?

Stella:    Is it food?

Tiger:     No.

Stella:    Then don’t eat it.

Snoopey:   What if it smells bad and, therefore, smells good?

Stella:    Is it food?

Snoopey:   Probably not.

Stella:    Snoopey, really?

Snoopey:   Just checking.

Doodlebug:   What if food falls on the floor? Because I’m eating that no matter what.

Stella:    Food on the floor is all right to eat.

Miss Sweetie:    Food on the floor and blobs of dirt outside look the same to me. Can I still eat blobs of dirt?

Stella:    Sweetie, are blobs of dirt food?

Miss Sweetie:   They are if I eat them.

Stella:    Aaaaggghhh! Sweetie, that’s what is adding to the potty mouth situation. Don’t eat dirt and your water bowls will be cleaner. Look at my bowl. There is hardly ever any dirt in it.

Wiggles:   Why should we care? We don’t have to clean our bowls. Lady Human does that. If our bowls are always clean, what will she have to do?

Stella:    I can always find something else.

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.