I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, hereby decree that potty mouths will no longer be tolerated in my kingdom which includes the hallway, the utility room, the kitchen, the den, and, of course, the human bathrooms.
Me: Potty mouths?
Stella: Is that not the correct human term?
Me: It is a human term, but what do you mean by it?
Stella: Touching nasty things with your mouth and thereby getting a dirty mouth. Isn’t that the human meaning?
Me: Not exactly. Potty mouth to us has more to do with what comes out of our mouths than what goes into them.
Stella: That, too! Have you seen Sweetie’s water bowl today? That dirt didn’t just jump in there all by itself. Bottom line, no more potty mouths. Bulldogs, if you see something on the floor, that is not an invitation to eat it. Only eat food. That will save a lot of trouble right there.
Tiger: What if it smells good?
Stella: Is it food?
Tiger: No.
Stella: Then don’t eat it.
Snoopey: What if it smells bad and, therefore, smells good?
Stella: Is it food?
Snoopey: Probably not.
Stella: Snoopey, really?
Snoopey: Just checking.
Doodlebug: What if food falls on the floor? Because I’m eating that no matter what.
Stella: Food on the floor is all right to eat.
Miss Sweetie: Food on the floor and blobs of dirt outside look the same to me. Can I still eat blobs of dirt?
Stella: Sweetie, are blobs of dirt food?
Miss Sweetie: They are if I eat them.
Stella: Aaaaggghhh! Sweetie, that’s what is adding to the potty mouth situation. Don’t eat dirt and your water bowls will be cleaner. Look at my bowl. There is hardly ever any dirt in it.
Wiggles: Why should we care? We don’t have to clean our bowls. Lady Human does that. If our bowls are always clean, what will she have to do?
Stella: I can always find something else.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 