Hey! Do You Want To Fight? – Conversation with Stella, Snoopey, and Tiger

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and…

Snoopey:   GET OUT OF MY FACE!

Tiger:     MAKE ME, LOUD MOUTH!

Stella:    I AM STELLA, QUEEN OF THE OLDE ENGLISH BULLDOGGES, BUT THAT DOESN’T SEEM TO MATTER TO SOME! NOW DID ANYBODY HEAR THAT?

Snoopey:   Tiger got in my face. She’s on my ground. If you are the queen, whatever that means, what are you going to do about it?

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Tiger:     Nothing! She’s not in charge! Do you want to fight? Let’s see who’s really In charge!

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Snoopey:   Whenever you’re ready, b…

Me:        Hold on there! Back off! Tiger, in your crate! Snoopey, in your crate! NOW!

Stella:    Good call, Lady Human. Neutral corners.

Me:        All well and good for the moment, but how do we get past this?

Snoopey:   Hey, Tiger! Do you want to fight? Well, do ya, punk?

Tiger:     Come and get it!

Snoopey:   I so would, but the crate is latched!

Tiger:   Yeah, mine, too! Inconvenient.

Me:        Everybody, calm down!

Snoopey:   I will if she will!

Tiger:   No, I will if she will!

Stella:    I WILL IF THEY BOTH WILL! Why is it so hard to be queen?

Me:   Why are we having this problem again?

Snoopey:   Because Tiger is stupid?

Tiger:     Because Snoopey is selfish?

Stella:    Because low blood sugar! I’m hangry! Treats all around!

Snoopey:   Okay, but me first!

Tiger:     No, me!

Snoopey:   Do you want to fight?

Me:   Now I want to fight. Where are the treats? I need some, too!

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Mediation – Snoopey & Tiger – Conversations with the Pack

I am Stella, Illustrious and Noble, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and therefore, IN CHARGE!

Snoopey: As pack leader, I beg to differ.

Me:        As the only human present, so do I.

Stella:    Fine! Be that way! I’m still queen. So there!

Me:        Is this about the spat this morning?

Stella:    If by “spat” you mean the barking, growling, snapping conversation between Snoopey and Tiger, yes.

Me:        That started when they started eyeballing each other from across the room.

Tiger:     It started the day Snoopey was born.

Snoopey:  It started the day Tiger came to live with us.

Me:        It started when you two disobeyed my instructions. No eyeballing each other. Keep your eyes to yourselves.

Snoopey:  You have been putting drops in Tiger’s eye.

Me:        Yes.

Snoopey:  I want you to put drops in my eye.

Me:        No.

Snoopey:  Not fair. I am the pack leader. I should get to have drops in my eye.

Me:        The vet gave those drops to us for Tiger’s scratched eye. You do not have a scratched eye, therefore, no drops for you. It is not a gift or a privilege. Tiger doesn’t even like it.

Tiger:     No, except that I get them and she doesn’t.

Miss Sweetie:    Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie:    Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Me:        Hold it! Quiet down!

Miss Sweetie:    fight, fight, fight

Stella:   That’s not what she meant, Sweetie.

Miss Sweetie:    But I like a good fight.

Stella:    UHHHH, children these days!

Tiger:     Believe me, Sweetie, no fight is good and you would not like to see a real one.

Miss Sweetie:    But what were you and Aunt Snoopey doing then?

Tiger:     We were…disagreeing…loudly…while showing each other how white our teeth are.

Snoopey:  Yes, Sweetie, that was it. And always remember that it’s IMPOLITE TO STARE.

Stella:    And ONLY the humans have control over what the vets give us and that includes eye drops! Agreed?

Snoopey:  I concede the point…

Stella:    Good.

Snoopey:  …this time.

Stella:    Oh, of course, because next time you think that you will have control over the vets and the humans. Wrong. Mediation closed. Ruling: Keep your eyeballs out of other people’s business.

Me:        A fair ruling, Your Majesty. One we should all observe. God save Queen Stella! Wait. Where’s Wiggles?

Wiggles:  Here. AHHHH! What a wonderful nap! Hasn’t this been a great day?

Miss Sweetie:    So, there’s not going to be a fight?

Stella:    Go to bed, Sweetie. Good night.

Miss Sweetie:    Okay, Aunt Stella. Good night. It’s not a very exciting night though.

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.