I am Stella, Illustrious and Noble, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and therefore, IN CHARGE!
Snoopey: As pack leader, I beg to differ.
Me: As the only human present, so do I.
Stella: Fine! Be that way! I’m still queen. So there!
Me: Is this about the spat this morning?
Stella: If by “spat” you mean the barking, growling, snapping conversation between Snoopey and Tiger, yes.
Me: That started when they started eyeballing each other from across the room.
Tiger: It started the day Snoopey was born.
Snoopey: It started the day Tiger came to live with us.
Me: It started when you two disobeyed my instructions. No eyeballing each other. Keep your eyes to yourselves.
Snoopey: You have been putting drops in Tiger’s eye.
Me: Yes.
Snoopey: I want you to put drops in my eye.
Me: No.
Snoopey: Not fair. I am the pack leader. I should get to have drops in my eye.
Me: The vet gave those drops to us for Tiger’s scratched eye. You do not have a scratched eye, therefore, no drops for you. It is not a gift or a privilege. Tiger doesn’t even like it.
Tiger: No, except that I get them and she doesn’t.
Miss Sweetie: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Me: Hold it! Quiet down!
Miss Sweetie: fight, fight, fight
Stella: That’s not what she meant, Sweetie.
Miss Sweetie: But I like a good fight.
Stella: UHHHH, children these days!
Tiger: Believe me, Sweetie, no fight is good and you would not like to see a real one.
Miss Sweetie: But what were you and Aunt Snoopey doing then?
Tiger: We were…disagreeing…loudly…while showing each other how white our teeth are.
Snoopey: Yes, Sweetie, that was it. And always remember that it’s IMPOLITE TO STARE.
Stella: And ONLY the humans have control over what the vets give us and that includes eye drops! Agreed?
Snoopey: I concede the point…
Stella: Good.
Snoopey: …this time.
Stella: Oh, of course, because next time you think that you will have control over the vets and the humans. Wrong. Mediation closed. Ruling: Keep your eyeballs out of other people’s business.
Me: A fair ruling, Your Majesty. One we should all observe. God save Queen Stella! Wait. Where’s Wiggles?
Wiggles: Here. AHHHH! What a wonderful nap! Hasn’t this been a great day?
Miss Sweetie: So, there’s not going to be a fight?
Stella: Go to bed, Sweetie. Good night.
Miss Sweetie: Okay, Aunt Stella. Good night. It’s not a very exciting night though.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 