Welcome to The Bulldog Cafe – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and proprietor of The Bulldog Café.

Me:        The Bulldog Café? Is that a real thing?

Stella:    Of course. On the menu tonight is Victor Adult Dog food. It comes in a big yellow bag. It does not make you sick and our skin is fine so I guess it is okay. I used to eat a food that gave me lots of bad gas…

Me:        Wait. You are running a café? Don’t talk about bad gas and skin problems.

Stella:    What else should bulldogs talk about? When it comes to food, only the very best and that means stuff that doesn’t give you gas or make your skin itch and your hair fall out. Now where was I before I was so RUDELY interrupted? Oh, yes…on our menu tonight, popcorn.

Me:        No.

Stella:    How can I run a café without desserts and snacks?

Me:        No popcorn.

Stella:    Just a little bit.

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    But…but…but…

Me:        I am not saying never. I am saying not tonight. I’ll do more research.

Stella:    Research besmirch. You humans and your little black boxes and your fingers tapping, tapping, tapping. On our menu tonight, ice cream.

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    Why ever not?

Me:        I don’t have any and I have to do…

Stella:    I know. I know. More research. Leave it to a human to make everything complicated and unfun. So, what’s left? Oh, yes. On our menu tonight – plain water. There! Does that make you happy, Lady Human?

Me:        Well, it doesn’t make me unhappy. In fact, I’ll have some with you. Water is healthy.

Stella:    Yippee! So much for The Bulldog Café. I can’t wait to see our ratings on Yelp. Phhhuuuhhh!

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill

The Sky Made Ice Cream! – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Hello! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, on a most Illustrious Day. It is Sky Ice Cream Day! Ice cream for everyone. All you have to do is lick it up off the ground or off the bushes or off anything outside. It tastes a little plain, but that’s all right.

Me:        Yes, it snowed today. It has not snowed here since the day before you came to us, Stella.

Stella:    Isn’t it great? Will we have Sky Ice Cream every day?

Me:        No.

Stella:    Are you sure?

Me:        Pretty sure.

Stella:    How do you know things before they happen, Lady Human?

Me:        Weather satellites way up there, for one. And many winters spent here in this part of the world. Snow is rare.

Stella:    Is that why you bring ice cream home from the store?

Me:        Well, no. The one doesn’t really have to do with the other.

Stella:    So, the sky is where the store gets its ice cream?

Me:        No, they aren’t connected.

Stella:    So, will the sky ever give us peppermint ice cream? Because I really like peppermint.

Me:        Don’t hold your breath.

Stella:    Oh, I never hold my breath. Bulldog, remember? Breathing is very important. Without breathing, you can’t eat ice cream.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.