I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. It is time to order supper. Lady Human, I will have the salmon with potato.
Snoopey: And I will have the lamb and rice. Sweetie is sleeping, so I will order the lamb for her, too. And give it to Tiger. She hates lamb. Ordering for others is great!
Me: Hold your horses there, partners.
Stella: Are there horses here, too? Are they having supper with us? Cool.
Me: No, it’s an old expression. It’s a friendly way of saying, “Stop!”
Stella: Will it hold up our meal? This is a terrible restaurant.
Me: We’ve talked about that before, Stella. This is not a restaurant. This is our home.
Stella: A nice home. And a terrible restaurant. Very limited menu.
Snoopey: The service lacks much to be desired.
Stella: Well, Lady Human, you have our order. The others can put theirs in later. When does the kitchen close?
Me: We don’t have a menu, Stella, and the kitchen is already closed. We have your regular food, not the salmon or the lamb right now. The store was out. I will have to buy more when they get a new shipment.
Stella: You don’t make our food? You have someone else make it? You mean we’ve been eating take-out? Snoopey, rate this restaurant as negative 4 stars, whatever that means. Humans seem to care a lot about stars and check marks and sticking their thumbs up in the air.
Snoopey: Yes, I saw a man doing that on the side of the road. Very popular.
Me: You’ve seen me carry the big bags of food in. Did you really think that I was fixing it outside and then bringing it into the house in sacks?
Stella: There is no telling what you do outside and bring into the house, Lady Human. I am afraid to even guess.
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