Bulldog Menu – Conversations with Stella and Snoopey

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. It is time to order supper. Lady Human, I will have the salmon with potato.

Snoopey:   And I will have the lamb and rice. Sweetie is sleeping, so I will order the lamb for her, too. And give it to Tiger. She hates lamb. Ordering for others is great!


Me:        Hold your horses there, partners.

Stella:    Are there horses here, too? Are they having supper with us? Cool.

Me:        No, it’s an old expression. It’s a friendly way of saying, “Stop!”

Stella:    Will it hold up our meal? This is a terrible restaurant.

Me:        We’ve talked about that before, Stella. This is not a restaurant. This is our home.

Stella:    A nice home. And a terrible restaurant. Very limited menu.

Snoopey:   The service lacks much to be desired.

Stella:    Well, Lady Human, you have our order. The others can put theirs in later. When does the kitchen close?

Me:        We don’t have a menu, Stella, and the kitchen is already closed. We have your regular food, not the salmon or the lamb right now. The store was out. I will have to buy more when they get a new shipment.

Stella:    You don’t make our food? You have someone else make it? You mean we’ve been eating take-out? Snoopey, rate this restaurant as negative 4 stars, whatever that means. Humans seem to care a lot about stars and check marks and sticking their thumbs up in the air.

Snoopey:   Yes, I saw a man doing that on the side of the road. Very popular.

Me:        You’ve seen me carry the big bags of food in. Did you really think that I was fixing it outside and then bringing it into the house in sacks?

Stella:    There is no telling what you do outside and bring into the house, Lady Human. I am afraid to even guess.



Copyright 2017 H. J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Paws-itivity – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Noble and Illustrious Queen of the Old English Bulldogges. I added that “noble” part in myself.

Me:        If you keep adding titles, we may run out of room for anything else.

Stella:   Today I have a list of my special gifts that remind me of how valuable I am and make me feel good about myself.

Me:        Is there ever a time that you struggle with feeling good about yourself, Stella? You seem self-assured overall.

Stella:    When I am hungry, I feel like an empty sack. That’s because, when I am hungry, I am an empty sack.

Me:        You are never an empty sack.

Stella:    I am an empty sack of bones, blood, muscles, and air.

Me:        Air? Oh, you mean lungs.

Stella:    No, I mean the air bag that is my empty stomach. And that is when I call to mind my Gifts List and remind myself:

I am the cleanest bulldog in the world. Dirt does not dare stick to me.

Me:        You’re pretty clean, all right, but the cleanest in the world…

Stella:    Silence! Do not interrupt the List!

I am pretty, oh so pretty! So, everybody else, shut up!

I am super smart! So what if I can’t open a stupid door like Doodlebug!

I am the sweetest dog ever! No other dogs need apply. That means you,                              Wiggles!

I am courageous and the terror of squirrels. They flee when I appear. What do                   they do when you appear, Snoopey? Nothing! You do not inspire fear!

Me:        Stella, I notice that for every positive…

Stella:    Paws-itive. As in I have four of them. One. Two. Three. Four.

Me:        Oh, all right. Anyway, your affirmations always end in something negative. How does that help?

Stella:    I have enormous competition from the other bulldogs. You don’t know what it’s like being queen. They are constantly like “Why don’t you do this?” or “Why did you do that?” or “Why are you so short?” or “You don’t run very fast.” or…

Me:        I get the idea.

Stella:    It is so difficult being queen over your sisters and nieces.

Me:        Would it help if I gave you some affirmations that were just about you?

Stella:    Maybe…

Me:        You are beautiful, Stella Bella.

You are the kindest soul on four legs that I have ever met. (Please don’t tell the                    other bulldogs I have met.)

You are more interesting than most humans I know. (Please don’t tell the other                    humans I know.)

You make our lives richer just by being near us.

You are the perfect size and shape for you.

You move at just the right pace, not too fast, not too slowly.

You are brave and I am proud of you.

Say those to yourself. Don’t worry about what the others think. Does that                         help?

Stella:    Did you mean all that, Lady Human?

Me:        With all my heart.

Stella:    Then when I say it, I will mean it, too.


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.