I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I hereby call this Special Emergency Pack Meeting to order.
Me: Wait. What emergency? What pack meeting?
Stella: Sorry, Lady Human. You were not notified because you are not a member of the pack.
Me: Really? So, all the food and treats and face washing and puppy pool water does not qualify me for pack membership?
Stella: It’s a bulldog pack, Lady Human, and you, after all, are not a bulldog.
Me: Not even an honorary one.
Stella: I’ll take it under advisement.
Me: Shouldn’t you go ahead and let me know what’s going on?
Snoopey: I’ll say it. It’s the ear cleanings.
Tiger: Yeah, ear cleanings are gross.
Wiggles: Yes, and the cleaning drops smell like…like…stinky water.
Miss Sweetie: Like sour water.
Doodlebug: Like you, Sweetie.
Me: Enough, Doodle. Sweetie smells a lot better since we got the malacetic wipes for her face folds. The other type worked only hit and miss and so, I admit it, sometimes she smelled sour. I still think I should be included in the pack meeting, human or not.
Stella: Not when you are the evil ear cleaner.
Me: Now I am evil for cleaning your ears?
Stella: Do you know what it is like to have your own ears wiped out?
Me: Yes. Humans clean their ears.
Stella: Weird. Your ears do not flop over.
Me: And we can’t close our ears the way you do.
Stella: It has taken lots of practice to perfect that move. Still, there is no defense against your nasty ear cleaning drops. So, we are taking a vote. Ear cleaning drops – yay or nay?
Snoopey: Nay.
Tiger: Nay.
Wiggles: Nay,
Doodlebug: Nay.
Miss Sweetie: Maybe. Maybe not.
Stella: That’s a yay. And I vote yay. Unanimous. No more ear cleaning drops.
Me: I vote nay. My one vote trumps all of yours. I win.
Stella: Not fair!
Me: Fair? Have you seen what comes out of your ears? That is what’s not fair.
Stella: Well, you wanted to be a member of the pack. Welcome.
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Bulldoggy 