Here I am again! Flying Stella, Squirrel Fighter, ready to right all wrongs and chase all squirrels!
Welcome back, Jerky McSquirrelyFace, you old rascal! Thought you could outsmart me, did you? Well…okay, you did outsmart me for a little while, but Lady Human discovered your trick and she let me in on where you have been hanging out.
And I hear that you have brought your girlfriend with you this time. The more the merrier. Wait! Does this mean that there will be a litter of puppy squirrels around here?
(Transcriptionist: Probably, but maybe not before next spring.)
Noooo! No puppy squirrels!
(Transcriptionist: Baby squirrels are not puppies. They are kittens.)
Double Noooo!!! How can that be? How can squirrels be cats?
(Transcriptionist: They are not cats. Their babies are just called kittens. Hey, I thought you were going to tell a Flying Stella story. This is more like one of our conversations.)
(Transcriptionist: If you want me to be silent, stop screaming and stop asking me questions. Save all that for another day.)
Cats, huh. I see their plan now. They are going to join up with Moon the Cat. She has probably been spying for them the whole time. Of course, Moon the Cat never goes outside so how does she pass messages to them? Perhaps by eye blinks through the windows. THAT’S IT! That’s how Jerky always knew where to be to rain nuts down on our heads. Moon the Cat warned him so he could be ready. Clever cat and clever cat squirrels.
This is a terrible danger to the world of bulldogs. Cats on the ground and on top of furniture, counters, washing machines, and pianos. And cat squirrels jumping and climbing trees and fences, running, flying from tree to tree, not to mention scampering across rooftops like little scamps. And all in cahoots with each other.
Now more than ever I must hone my bulldog skills, especially flying.
(Transcriptionist: Since when is flying a bulldog skill?)
Stay alert, bulldogs! And you humans, too! I will keep you informed as the details of the cat/squirrel conspiracy unfold. Until then, I remain
Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.