Hello! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Today’s subject – Bird dogs!
BIRD DOGS! I heard Lady Human talking about bird dogs so she knows about them, too! Dogs can fly! I always knew in my heart that we could. Well, some of us can anyway.
This makes me so happy that I am going to dance. Not fly. Not yet.
But now at least I know that dogs can fly. Imagine what it will be like to fly. I will take a running start – not too fast, of course. I am still a bulldog. When I get up to top speed, I will jump, just a little hop, and off the ground I’ll go and I will just keep going. Flying! A flying dog! That’ll be me!
Wait, Lady Human is saying something. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh.
Well, that’s disappointing. And here I got my hopes up and got excited, all for nothing.
Apparently, the humans are misusing their words again. I don’t even know why they invent words if they are not going to mean what they say.
She says that bird dogs are dogs that help hunters . No flying is involved, not by the dogs anyway.
Why don’t humans say what they mean and mean what they say? Stop it, people! This is why I like talking to dogs. Dogs are honest. Dogs are straightforward. Dogs don’t twist things around.
I suppose now Lady Human is going to tell me that a dragonfly is not a dragon. That a house fly does belong in the house. That a catfish is not a cat that fishes.
It makes me want to cry. I don’t know who to believe.
Humans and their confusing, inexplicable ways. Why can’t they be more like us? No one ever misunderstands what a dog means.
What? Lady Human is speaking to me again. What do you mean dogs are hard to figure out? Nonsense! You are just not listening. Try harder. I know. Write a human dictionary for dogs and I will write dog dictionary for humans.
What? What do you mean pay for a transcriptionist? That is your job. You pay for things. That is your job, too.
Until next time, dear humans, I will keep trying to make communication between dogs and people plain. I want to make sure that when I ask for a treat, no one misunderstands me.
Signed, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
You just learn to fly Stella, and prove your human wrong, just show her that some, special dogs can in fact fly! -Ellie
LikeLiked by 1 person