Hello! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Today’s subject – Bird dogs!
BIRD DOGS! I heard Lady Human talking about bird dogs so she knows about them, too! Dogs can fly! I always knew in my heart that we could. Well, some of us can anyway.
This makes me so happy that I am going to dance. Not fly. Not yet.
But now at least I know that dogs can fly. Imagine what it will be like to fly. I will take a running start – not too fast, of course. I am still a bulldog. When I get up to top speed, I will jump, just a little hop, and off the ground I’ll go and I will just keep going. Flying! A flying dog! That’ll be me!
Wait, Lady Human is saying something. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh.
Well, that’s disappointing. And here I got my hopes up and got excited, all for nothing.
Apparently, the humans are misusing their words again. I don’t even know why they invent words if they are not going to mean what they say.
She says that bird dogs are dogs that help hunters . No flying is involved, not by the dogs anyway.
Why don’t humans say what they mean and mean what they say? Stop it, people! This is why I like talking to dogs. Dogs are honest. Dogs are straightforward. Dogs don’t twist things around.
I suppose now Lady Human is going to tell me that a dragonfly is not a dragon. That a house fly does belong in the house. That a catfish is not a cat that fishes.
It makes me want to cry. I don’t know who to believe.
Humans and their confusing, inexplicable ways. Why can’t they be more like us? No one ever misunderstands what a dog means.
What? Lady Human is speaking to me again. What do you mean dogs are hard to figure out? Nonsense! You are just not listening. Try harder. I know. Write a human dictionary for dogs and I will write dog dictionary for humans.
What? What do you mean pay for a transcriptionist? That is your job. You pay for things. That is your job, too.
Until next time, dear humans, I will keep trying to make communication between dogs and people plain. I want to make sure that when I ask for a treat, no one misunderstands me.
Signed, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.