Hiding Space – Conversations with Stella and Moon the Cat

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. SHHHHH!!!! Don’t say anything! Maybe she won’t find me. Hiding is hard when you are shaped like a four-legged, 50-pound tank. I’ll squeeze back here. Nope. That won’t work. My back half is sticking out. If I can avoid her long enough, maybe she’ll forget about me, and then the danger will pass. I can squeeze behind the couch. Hey! Cat! Move it! Bulldog coming through! Make way! What do you mean ‘meow’? Hiss!!! How about that? Does that get your attention?

Me:        Stella! Hey, Stella! Come here, girl. Just for a minute.

Stella:    Just for a minute. Huh. A likely story. I can smell it. She forgets I have a dog’s nose. A poor thing, but my own, and it serves me at times like these. If I can just…scrunch down…a little bit more…I can wait out the threat back here.

Moon the Cat:   Meooww.

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Stella:    SHHHHH!!!! Whisper!!! Don’t you understand anything? She’s got that bottle of sour-scented water in her hand.

Me:        Stellaaaa!

Moon the Cat:   Meooowww.

Stella:    SHHHHH!!!!

Moon the Cat:   Why don’t you want her to take care of your ears?

Stella:    What? You speak my language? Why haven’t you done this before?

Moon the Cat:   Bulldoggese is a difficult tongue for a cat. Very rough. It beats up my mouth. Why don’t you learn my language instead?

Stella:    A preposterous notion. The very idea!

Me:        Oh, Stella, there you are. Come here. Just for a minute.

Stella:    No. No! No!!! Now see what you’ve done, Cat!

Moon the Cat:   I helped you find the Lady Human. You are welcome.

Me:        It won’t take a second and you know it makes your ears feel better, Stella. There. That’s one ear. Now for the other.

Stella:    Eeeggghhh. Eeeggghhh! Eeeggghhh!!

Me:        You see. All done. Until next time.

Stella:    Until next time. Destroyer of hope.

Me:        What’s better? To suffer the itch and pain of ear infections or to take arms against them and, by opposing, end them.

Stella:   You made that up. Strange words from someone who does not put drops of sour water into her own ears.

Me:        Thank you, Moon, for alerting me to Stella’s whereabouts.

Moon the Cat:   Glad to have been of help. Not really. Meow.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Open Your Ears – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Now hear this!

Me:        Okay…I am listening…Now hear what?

Stella:    I don’t know. Do you hear anything?

Me:        I hear you. I hear Tiger snoring. I hear the air conditioner running – I wish I didn’t. It is only early spring. I hear Moon the Cat purring. I hear Snoopey whining because Moon is talking to her. Don’t you hear all of that?

Stella:    Yes. But…

Me:        Do you need your ears cleaned out again?

Stella:    NOOOO! NO! NO! NO! I am fine. I can hear everything. Lalalalala! You see. I heard that!

Me:        Oh, come on, Stella. It’s not that big a deal. I have to clean my ears. Everybody has to every once in a while.

Stella:    My ears are fine. See how cute they are, all wrinkled and tucked in. No ear issues here.

Me:        Look, I only have to wipe them out with this soft cloth and…

Stella:    Aaaachhh! Aaaaggghh! Aaaaahhhh. Awwwww. Okay. Well, that’s better. Mmmmm.

Me:        See, you make a big deal out of nothing.

Stella:    My ears are a big deal.

Me:        You should take care of them then.

Stella:    No, YOU should take care of them then.

Me:        Hey, I am trying to, but I am getting serious resistance.

Stella:    Resistance from whom?

Me:        Stella! From you!

Stella:    What? That was not resistance. That was me being bulldoggy. When are you going to accept that I am a bulldog and I will act like a bulldog all the time? Let me be me.

Me:        Okay. And let me be me.

Stella:    What?

Me:        Let me clean your ears without a fight.

Stella:    Nope. Not possible. That would be wrong, plain wrong.

Me:        even if I talk like this

Stella:    What? What are you saying? I can’t hear…oh, clever. Whispering. Trying to make me think my ears are clogged.

Me:        Keep your ears open, Stella. We all need to hear what is going on.

Stella:    Are you going to clean my nose out next?

Me:        If you need me to…

Stella:    NOOOO! Nose is fine!

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.