I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hello. If we ever meet, face to face, do not make eye contact. I am a predator. You humans are predators. Keep your eyeballs to yourselves.
Me: But you and I make eye contact all the time and you don’t seem to mind.
Stella: Yes, about that, Lady Human…
Me: You think of me as another predator.
Stella: Admit it. With humans, one can never be too sure.
Me: Stella, it’s me. We’ve sat together and eaten together…
Stella: Not really. You’ve never eaten out of my bowl and I have never eaten out of yours, not that I would mind doing so.
Me: You don’t want me to look at you.
Stella: Of course, you should look at me. Watch all my cuteness and squirrel chasing expertise and special dance steps.
Stella: But no eyeballing.
Me: Many humans consider it a sign of respect and honesty to look another person in the eyes.
Stella: Many humans are not bulldogs.
Me: In fact, no humans are bulldogs, but, to continue on the eyeballing subject, I have looked you straight in the eyes lots of times. What’s different about today?
Stella: Today I am ticked off.
Stella: And when I’m ticked off, you’d better watch out. Predator alert! Keep your eyeballs to yourself.
Me: And tomorrow will you be ticked off?
Stella: I haven’t decided yet.
Me: Am I allowed to be ticked off now and again?
Stella: No, absolutely not. You are a human. You are supposed to have better self-control. Being ticked off is for me. I am the Queen.
Me: How will I know if you are ticked off?
Stella: Just try eyeballing me and see what happens.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.