I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, hereby issue this ALERT to all people and dogs everywhere.
Me: I think that may extend a little beyond your reach.
Stella: Everyone must be warned for their own safety! This afternoon, while I was outside minding my own business and taking care of my own business, if you know what I mean…
Me: I do. Please go on.
Stella: All of a sudden, I was bombed from above!
Stella: I couldn’t see the perpetrator, but I knew who it was!
Stella: My arch nemesis. My eternal enemy.
Me: Don’t tell me. Let me guess.
Stella: Exactly. Jerky McSquirrelyFace. Who else could have targeted me?
Me: Yeah, he targeted all of us, including me.
Stella: His stealth and arrogance know no bounds. Poor little green pecans. They are giving their lives for nothing. He doesn’t even eat all of them, but throws their half-eaten shells on our heads to taunt us.
Me: Well, I wouldn’t say ‘for nothing’. They are feeding the squirrels.
Stella: Squirrels? You mean it’s not just Jerky?
Me: Did you see how fast they were coming down? He had help.
Stella: Then it is time to form the Anti-Squirrel Bulldog Army. Jerky’s rain of nuts must end. To be continued…
Me: If you say so.
WANTED POSTER ISSUED BY STELLA, QUEEN OF THE OLDE ENGLISH BULLDOGGES:
This is a photograph of Jerky from a year ago. Anyone spotting this squirrel should contact their local anti-squirrel agency. Do not attempt to approach him alone! He will throw nuts at you!
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.