I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.The funniest thing ever happened. I am still laughing. Lady Human, did you see the hilarious thing that happened?
Me: I must not have because I am not laughing, but I could stand to have a good one. What happened?
Stella: You gave Miss Sweetie a bath.
Me: Yes, and….
Stella: Miss Sweetie is always so stinky and dirty.
Me: Yes, and…
Stella: She is forever rolling in dirt and mud and she sticks her head in trash cans.
Me: Yes, and…what is so funny? I am missing the punch line.
Stella: When she came back in the room, Tiger was running through…and she stopped and turned around…and ran up to Miss Sweetie and sniffed…because she smelled like a completely different dog and Tiger didn’t recognize her! Isn’t that hilarious? Tiger thought Miss Sweetie wasn’t Miss Sweetie because she smelled GOOD!
Me: I can understand her confusion.
Stella: We read the world with our noses. You can’t always believe your eyes, but a bulldog can always believe her nose.
Me: The new shampoo really worked. Pineapple scented.
Stella: Keep using it. It will make Miss Sweetie more popular.
Me: I think she smells a lot better, too. Speaking of baths…
Stella: Still laughing. Can’t stop.
Me: It’s time for yours.
Stella: Huh?
Me: Your bath. It’s time for your bath.
Stella: Un-uh. I don’t stink. I am super clean.
Me: Among the bulldogs, you are the cleanest, I’ll give you that.
Stella: I am the Queen. One must keep up appearances.
Me: How do you keep your ears so clean?
Stella: Simple. I don’t roll in the dirt. But I can’t have a bath.
Me: Why not? You have before.
Stella: It’s that new shampoo you use. If I start smelling like a pineapple, my subjects will not recognize me.
Me: Sure they will.
Stella: Worse. They will start calling me ‘Queen Pineapple’. Bulldogs can be so cruel.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
