Hello, humans! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Or simply Stella, as I like to call her.
Stella: I am not simply Stella. I am not simple at all.
Me: All right, complex Stella, what do you want to talk about?
Stella: You and Tall Man were spraying water everywhere this afternoon. Why?
Me: We were giving Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie baths. We put an attachment on the hose that sprayed water all around them, head to tail. It makes washing the soap off easier.
Stella: You wasted your time and your water.
Me: Really? I think they smell a whole lot better than they did.
Stella: Nope, not so much.
Me: We used some nice vanilla-scented shampoo.
Me: We scrubbed their hair and rinsed them with lots of clean water.
Me: Now I’m disappointed.
Stella: Have you seen how they roll around in the dirt? And in other stuff?
Me: I thought that was an accident.
Stella: Nope. Stinky dogs like stinky stuff.
Me: You don’t stink.
Stella: Nope. I am a bulldog, not a stinkpot.
Me: Maybe if we give them another bath in a few days.
Stella: Nope! Waste! If you want to save water and the environment, don’t bother bathing Doodlebug or Miss Sweetie.
Me: But if we don’t bathe Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie, we won’t be saving OUR environment.
Stella: Good point. Carry on. But don’t trust to hope. It has abandoned these lands.
Me: So what should we do?
Stella: Do what any sensible bulldog does. Take your paw and put it over your nose.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.