I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and this is BNN – Bulldog News Network, blah, blah, blah, all talk all the time, just like the boring humans…
Me: Stella, what brought this on?
Stella: Today there was a sale on cheese at the human food place and Lady Human bought it all and brought it home just for herself. She owns all the cheese in the world.
Me: How would that even be possible?
Stella: Snoopey is here with us now for an interview to tell what she witnessed.
Snoopey: What is an interview?
Stella: What did you see when Lady Human opened the door to the Big Cold Box?
Snoopey: Lots and lots of wonderful food.
Stella: That proves it.
Me: It doesn’t prove that I own all the cheese in the world or even all the cheese from a store.
Stella: Now we welcome Tiger who has more to add to this story.
Me: What story? I bought a little bit of cheese.
Stella: Tiger, what do you have to say to Lady Human’s denial of cheese hoarding?
Stella: Can you be more specific?
Tiger: Hello, people.
Stella: Wiggles, Doodlebug, Sweetie, what can you add?
(background snoring and odd snorting noises)
Me: Are they your audience because…
Stella: Am I the only one concerned about the level of cheese hoarding here?
Snoopey: I guess so.
Stella: Well, I can’t keep commenting on nothing.
Snoopey: That’s right.
Tiger: So shut up.
Stella: Tomorrow on BNN – Bulldog News Network, I will interview Lady Human about how she has slowly but drastically reduced the size of treats during the past month.
Me: Uh, I may arrange to be unavailable for that.
Snoopey: Smaller treats? What? Really?
Tiger: As long as I get mine and Snoopey’s, too, I don’t care.
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