Don’t Call Yourself ‘Stupid’! – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill


I am Stella. I am an Olde English Bulldogge. I am their Queen.

Me:        Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Stella:    And I am not stupid.

Me:        No! Me! Me! Me!

Stella:    Apparently, Lady Human has done or said something that now displeases her, that she now considers to be a mistake. I only have a bulldog’s brain, but I understand this every time she yells at herself.

Me:        Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

Stella:    Why are you scolding yourself, Lady Human?

Me:        Oh, you wouldn’t understand.

Stella:    So now you are calling me stupid?

Me:        No. Just stupid ole me.

Stella:    Now hear this!

Me:        Ow! That hurt my ears!

Stella:    I have to be loud to get you to hear me! Don’t call yourself ‘stupid’! You listen to your own voice more than to any other. You are not stupid. A stupid person would not love bulldogs. A stupid human would not feed us and water us and play with us and talk to us. When you lie to yourself, calling yourself that word, you start to believe it and that is bad for you. And I love you and I don’t want anything bad for you. So SHUT UP!

Me:        Stella, that was rude! And kind. Thank you.

Stella:    Don’t mention it.

Me:        I appreciate…

Stella:    No, I mean it. Don’t mention it. SHUT UP. STOP TALKING. NAP TIME.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

The Stupid Awards – Human Edition – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Hello, dogs, humans, and…cats…if any are interested in this which I doubt. Anyway, there are no cats on the Stupid Awards list this time. I find that almost inexplicable. Still, it is my list.

Me:        Is this that award where you get a treat whenever someone wins the award so it is just about you getting more treats?

Stella:    Those are the rules.

Me:        Solely to refresh my memory, are the awards stupid or are the recipients stupid?

Stella:    Both. Now for the first Stupie…

Me:        Stupie? Oh, I forgot. That’s the award’s nickname. Please go on.

Stella:    I was about to when I was so rudely interrupted. Ahem. The first Stupie goes to…. drrrrrrrrrruhhhh…

Me:        What?

Stella:    That is a drum roll. I heard it on the Picture Box. We do not have a drummer so I will do that part myself. Ahem, the first Stupie goes to ALL HUMANS LOUDLY TALKING POLITICS ON THE PICTURE BOX ABOUT THE HUMAN ELECTION NONSENSE! Tada!!! All treats go to me. How many will that be, Lady Human?

Me:        I have no idea. Is it limited to candidates or do moderators and commentators count, too?

Stella:    ALL HUMANS. LOUDLY TALKING. POLITICS. PICTURE BOX. ELECTION NONSENSE.

Me:        Is “Picture Box” limited to television? Or does that include the internet and social media?

Stella:    I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me:        Because that could be in the millions. Quite frankly, I cannot foot that kind of bill for dog treats.

Stella:    Well, we can work out a deal on that later.

Me:        Are there any other Stupies to be given out now?

Stella:    Quite a few. There is never a shortage of human stupidity.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.