Stay Away from Political Parties! There is No Popcorn! – Conversations with Stella

Stella:    My Lady Human is exhausted. She has not slept as long or as well as she should have these past few days. Thus, everything she has done for us, the Olde English Bulldogges of Bulldoggy Nation, has been done…well, partially, slowly, and not very well.

Me:        Stella, are you complaining about me?

Stella:    Just giving the facts, only the facts. You stayed up too late the other night with your Political Party nonsense and now everyone is suffering for it. If it was no fun, why did you keep politicaling. It does not sound like a party to me.

Me:        Politicaling? I don’t think that’s a word.

Stella:    It is now. I say so.

Me:        And a political party is not like a fun party.

Stella:    Then why attend?

Me:        I didn’t. It kind of foisted itself on me.

Stella:    Then you tell Mr. Foisted to cut it out. You have bulldogs depending on you and he can keep his Political Party invitations to himself and he had better not come around here anymore or he may find out how bulldogs got their reputation. Nobody messes with my Lady Human!

Me:        Thank you, Stella.

Stella:    That’s right. Our breakfast schedule is too important to be messed up by political partying. Now go to bed and get some sleep and no more politicaling…ever.

Me:        If you say so.

Stella:    If you humans had me as queen, you wouldn’t have to put up with elections and parties would not be a problem. Think about it.



Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Right Reserved.



Midnight Hour – Conversations with Stella

Stella:    Lady Human, what are you doing up so late? Shhh! All the bulldogs are asleep.

Me:        You are a bulldog and you aren’t.

Stella:    I am a queen. Queens stay up to watch over their subjects.

Me:        It’s true. I have found you sitting up long after the others are snoring.

Stella:    You don’t stay up this late.

Me:        No, but I wasn’t sleeping well and I had a pain in my foot. I got up to take some aspirin.

Stella:    Your foot? The one that Tiger stomped on?

Me:        I don’t remember…

Stella:    The foot that Wiggles stomped on?

Me:        Maybe…My feet get bulldog stomped a lot.

Stella:    The foot that Snoopey stomped on?

Me:        Probably. I only have two and Snoopey stomps a lot.

Stella:    The foot that I stomped on? I’m sorry about that. It’s just that your human feet are so big. They stick out in front of me and it is hard to avoid them when I am hustling. Wait! Is that Human Election Nonsense over?

Me:        The voting is over. I don’t know if it is ever truly over.

Stella:    Are the loud humans quiet now?

Me:        Loud humans never quiet down completely.

Stella:    True. Humans don’t seem to know how to be quiet. They talk and talk and talk and say very little, mostly blah, blah, blah.

Me:        The Great Creator made our mouths and gave us tongues for speech. I think we don’t use them wisely as He intended.

Stella:    You should not stay awake and worry about the silly humans even if you are one yourself.

Me:          Silly or human?

Stella:     Both. There is no real difference. You don’t see the bulldogs sitting up all night.

Me:        No, they are sleeping soundly. It’s wonderful to watch dogs at peace.

Stella:    We like it when our humans sleep in peace. Hey, you can sleep with all of us. I will watch over you, too.

Me:        Thank you for the offer, Stella. I believe I can go to bed and rest now. You’ve reminded me that we all have Someone watching over us. Good night.

Stella:    Good night, Lady Human. Oh, and just because you stayed up late doesn’t mean that our breakfast can be one minute late in the morning. No slacking off.



Copyright 2016 H. J. Hill All Rights Reserved.



The Stupid Awards – Human Edition – Conversations with Stella

Hello, dogs, humans, and…cats…if any are interested in this which I doubt. Anyway, there are no cats on the Stupid Awards list this time. I find that almost inexplicable. Still, it is my list.

Me:        Is this that award where you get a treat whenever someone wins the award so it is just about you getting more treats?

Stella:    Those are the rules.

Me:        Solely to refresh my memory, are the awards stupid or are the recipients stupid?

Stella:    Both. Now for the first Stupie…

Me:        Stupie? Oh, I forgot. That’s the award’s nickname. Please go on.

Stella:    I was about to when I was so rudely interrupted. Ahem. The first Stupie goes to…. drrrrrrrrrruhhhh…

Me:        What?

Stella:    That is a drum roll. I heard it on the Picture Box. We do not have a drummer so I will do that part myself. Ahem, the first Stupie goes to ALL HUMANS LOUDLY TALKING POLITICS ON THE PICTURE BOX ABOUT THE HUMAN ELECTION NONSENSE! Tada!!! All treats go to me. How many will that be, Lady Human?

Me:        I have no idea. Is it limited to candidates or do moderators and commentators count, too?


Me:        Is “Picture Box” limited to television? Or does that include the internet and social media?

Stella:    I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me:        Because that could be in the millions. Quite frankly, I cannot foot that kind of bill for dog treats.

Stella:    Well, we can work out a deal on that later.

Me:        Are there any other Stupies to be given out now?

Stella:    Quite a few. There is never a shortage of human stupidity.



Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Curfew Breaker – Conversations with Stella

Hello! I am Illustrious Stella, Queen of the Illustrious Olde English Bulldogges. Yay me!

Me:        Yay you!

Stella:    You stayed out too late last night, Lady Human. You must never do that again. Now you must stay inside with us as soon as the sun goes to bed.

Me:        I beg your pardon?

Stella:    Yes, do beg my pardon.

Me:        Excuse me, but…

Stella:    You are excused…

Me:        No.

Stella:    You are not excused? Okay.

Me:        No, I mean I am not taking orders from bulldogs on how long I can stay out at night. I am an adult human. I have no curfew. And I wasn’t even away from home. I was talking to a neighbor out back.

Stella:    You were gone so long. We were waiting to go to bed and there was no one to tuck us in and it was so lonely.

Me:        You could have visited among yourselves.

Stella:    That’s no fun. Tiger is always grumbling to me and Wiggles is always saying something dumb. What were you talking to a neighbor about way into the dark night? Oh, no! It wasn’t about that election nonsense thing again, was it?

Me:        Well, actually…

Stella:    NOOOO!!! There isn’t going to be another one of those debate nonsense things again, is there? With the loud humans talking, talking, talking! Blah! Blah! Blah! And never knowing when to stop!

Me:        Well, as a matter of fact…but just one more. You can sit with me in a quiet place. I am not watching or listening to it.

Stella:    But you will talk about it and Tall Man will watch it because he can’t help himself just like that show with the ugly dead zombie monsters staggering around. Wait! Is that going to be on the Picture Box, too?

Me:        The Walking Dead? Yes, in a few more days.

Stella:    NOOOO!!! Election monsters and zombie monsters!!! Where can I go to hide?

Me:        I don’t know, but if you find a place, come and get me.



Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Leaders We Did Not Elect

Leadership – people discuss it all the time, ponder it, lust after it, fight over it. That’s because it is significant. Leadership is imperative at every level of life. Chaos reigns without good leadership and chaos reigns under bad leadership. Jesus said that if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a ditch. (Matthew 15:14)

First, what is not leadership?

  1. A leader is not one because of a title. There are too many wearing a title as a badge or a reward who are not leaders.
  1. Position does not a leader make. Even without the title, someone in a leadership position actually has to lead.
  1. Leadership is not aggression.
  1. Leadership is not simply issuing orders.
  1. Throwing a fit is not leadership.
  1. Manipulation is not leadership.
  1. Doing nothing is not leadership. Watch a ship that has no one at the helm and see what happens.

Our bulldog pack, so far as I know, did not hold a caucus and elect a pack leader. As the dogs came along, they argued a little among themselves from time to time, but the consensus came about naturally. Which dog “cared” more for the others? Which one watched over the safety of the whole pack, including the sometimes clueless humans whose senses of hearing and smell were not quite as developed? The answer was obvious, even to humans who were observant.


She stepped into the position without hesitation. The others defer to her. Whenever she comes back from having been separated from the pack, she makes a quick inspection tour. Is everyone there? Is everyone in place? Is everyone all right? Only then does she settle down.

And as for those silly humans in her life, she really has to watch out for them. If a stranger is outside, she hears it and barks appropriately. She has an alarm bark for oddities and emergencies, and she has a regular notification bark for things like, “Wake up, sleepyhead humans, it’s time for breakfast and bathroom.”

As with all leaders, Snoopey is not perfect.

She is suspicious. She keeps a keen eye out for everything. That may be the result of experiences in her young life before she came to us or it may be an inborn trait.

She is stubborn, but that is bulldoggy of her and not much different from the humans with whom she associates.

She jealously guards her prerogatives which include her food and her bedding. Oh, and don’t come sniffing around her face when she is napping. She’ll set a dog straight on that in quick order. On the other hand, if you’re a human, that’s fine. Feel free to stop by anytime.

When Tiger started to challenge Snoopey a few months ago, Snoopey put her feet down, all four of them, and took her stand. I am the pack leader. Tiger, you are young and full of energy, but that is not all that a leader needs to be. I am in charge. It took a while and some human guidance along the way, but Tiger seems to be growing up and has backed off the challenge for now, though we always remain vigilant. Ambition is a terrible mistress.

Nobody elected Snoopey. She didn’t run to convince anyone of her worthiness to lead. She just led.

May God grant us, not the leaders we deserve (that would be too horrible), but His leaders.

“He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His Name’s sake.” Psalm 23:3 KJV


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.