That’s My Foot You’re Standing On – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. My feet feel so comfortable like they are standing on clouds.

Me:        That’s MY foot you’re standing on.

Stella:    No, I’m pretty sure I am standing on my own feet.

Me:        I mean you are standing on top of MY foot. Look.

Stella:    I just see my feet. You are so sensitive.

Me:        I am when a 50-pound bulldog is standing on my foot.

Stella:    Oh, I see. Why is your foot underneath mine?

Me:        Just slid under there, I guess.

Stella:    Then why are you complaining? Besides, I only have one foot on top of yours so that can’t be my whole 50 pounds. Okay, there! I’m not standing on your precious foot.

Miss Sweetie:    I’ll stand on it for you, Lady Human.

Me:        Sweetie, no! Ow!

Miss Sweetie:    Ow! Is that like ‘Thank you’?

Doodlebug:        Nope. It’s like ‘Stop it’. I know. She says that to me all the time when we are outside. I don’t know why.

Tiger:     Y’all are so dumb.

Wiggles:   I’m not dumb. What does ‘dumb’ mean?

Tiger:     Don’t step on humans. Don’t step on dogs. Don’t even step on cats.

Stella:    Oh, I draw the line there. I absolutely will step on a cat, given the chance. Please give me the chance.

Me:        Everybody, just watch where you step. You are not weightless.

Stella:    Not weightless? Are you trying to insult me?



Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Toe Stompers – Conversations with Stella

I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, wish to make perfectly clear that I had absolutely nothing to do with what happened. I was across the room, minding my own business. It was Snoopey’s doing. Poor Lady Human.

Me:        I think it’s turning blue, right there by my little toes.

Stella:    Which foot?

Me:        Can’t you see it?

Stella:    I don’t see colors all that well. Oh, there! That spot does look different now. I will lick it and make it feel better.

Me:        Thanks, but no thanks. That won’t help a bruise.

Stella:    Bulldog tongues help everything. And Snoopey is rude and careless. I know she has big feet, but she should keep them under control. No toe stomping! It gives bulldogs a bad rep!

Me:        Rep? You know what a rep is?

Stella:    Sure. It’s what people say about you and believe about you. Bulldogs have a great rep for tenacity and tenderness and looking ferocious but being all cool and whatnot. We do not need to be known as toe stompers.

Me:        It wouldn’t have happened if I had been wearing boots.

Stella:    Oh, knowing Snoopey and her big feet, it would have happened. It just wouldn’t have hurt so much. Where are your boots?

Me:        In my closet.

Stella:    I will run and get them.

Me:        Ow! Stella!

Stella:    Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize your feet were in my way. You should be more careful where you put them.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.