Customer Service is Closed for the Night – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Me:   I am not Stella. I am not Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am merely a tired human who does not seem to be making any bulldog happy today, except Miss Sweetie…maybe.

Stella:    Hey, cut it out!

Me:        Okay, I will cut it out. I am going to bed early.

Stella:    No! Not allowed!

Snoopey:   But I want…

Tiger:     What about my…

Doodlebug:   Don’t forget my…

Wiggles:   More blankeys…

Me:        You have three.

Wiggles:   I need a thousand more.

Miss Sweetie:    One of my four chew toys is missing. Right over there. Go get it for me.

Me:        Customer service is closed for the night. Please stop by again in the morning when it will reopen.

Stella:    I told you all that the service in this hotel is terrible.

Me:        Once again, our home. Not a hotel.

Stella:    Mark my words. Tomorrow, I will be speaking to the manager.

Me:        Well, best wishes in finding one. I don’t know who is in charge here.

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Wait on Me – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:        If you say so.

Stella:    I do. And I am thirsty. Give me a drink.

Me:        That is a rude way to ask for something, Stella. And your water bowl is full. Drink your water.

Stella:    I want what you are having.

Me:        I am taking a swig of coffee before I have to go.

Stella:    What is a swig? I want a swig.

Me:        A swig is just a quick sip. And you can’t have coffee. Do you want me to leave the television on? I’ll only be out for about an hour. Everybody else is napping.

Stella:    Will there be zombies?

Me:        No. I can leave it on this station. They will just be showing old westerns.

Stella:    That man on the Picture Box. What is he drinking?

Me:        Since that is a saloon, I’m guessing it’s whiskey.

Stella:    I want a swig of whiskey.

Me:        Nope. No way. Not now. Not ever.

Stella:    You are a terrible waitress.

Me:        I beg your pardon.

Stella:    You have it, but I will not be leaving a tip.

Me:        Okay, too many movies. Honey, this is not a restaurant. I am not your waitress.

Stella:    Of course, you are. We call. You come. You bring us food. You bring us water. You clean out our water bowls. You wipe our faces. You clean our ears…

Me:        Hold on a minute. I have never heard of a waitress who cleaned customers’ ears or wiped their faces.

Stella:    You haven’t been to very good restaurants then. All bulldog restaurants offer that service. Like this one.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill