Bedtime Can’t Wait – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human has gotten into a bad habit, one of many.

Me:        One of many? Really?

Stella:    Really. You don’t notice them, do you? That’s why I am here to point them out to you. For example, our bedtime routine has been disrupted by your addiction to the Picture Box.

Me:        If you count the amount of time I spend watching television lately, you will find it greatly reduced.

Stella:    But not at bedtime, the most important time of day other than morning, breakfast, potty times, noon, afternoon, evening, snack time…well, you get the idea.

Me:        You used not to mind.

Stella:    I am older now. My beauty sleep is important to me. It makes my coat shine. You should try it instead of watching big and little Picture Boxes until all hours. It might make your coat shine, too.

Me:        You sleep pretty much whenever you want to.

Stella:    Nighttime is special. It’s dark all over. Can we go to bed now?

Me:        Well, I was just going to finish this one episode…

Stella:    Is it that show with the big water wave at the beginning and the human who turns around super-fast and then the humans rowing a skinny little boat when it’s over.

Me:        Yeah, I’ve noticed that you get up now when I turn the theme song off at the end.

Stella:    Jump when you can. When you’ve seen one huge blue wave and one fast-turning human and one skinny boat being rowed by humans, you’ve seen them all. Bedtime!

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Flippin’ Out – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges…

Me:        I have a question.

Stella:    Typical.

Me:        It’s not a big deal. I was just wondering…

Stella:    Spit it out. That’s what a bulldog would do.

Me:        Every morning you stretch and yawn and slowly greet the day, but when it’s bedtime, you come rip-roaring into my room…

Stella:    Yep.

Me:        You jump onto my bed…

Stella:    With help from my boosters.

Me:        And you roll and flip and jump and paw…

Stella:    And dance and laugh and drool and…

Me:        It’s bedtime though. Time to wind down, not to get wound up.

Stella:    And turn and turn and whirl…

Me:        But it’s nighttime. I would think you would be tired. I sure am.

Stella:    And prance and squirm around…

Me:        There is an old proverb. “All the speed is in the morning.” All your speed is at night.

Stella:    Proverb? Is that food?

Me:        No. Yes. Food for thought, yes.

Stella:    But it’s not like chicken.

Me:        No.

Stella:    Well, you can keep that then.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Customer Service is Closed for the Night – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Me:   I am not Stella. I am not Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am merely a tired human who does not seem to be making any bulldog happy today, except Miss Sweetie…maybe.

Stella:    Hey, cut it out!

Me:        Okay, I will cut it out. I am going to bed early.

Stella:    No! Not allowed!

Snoopey:   But I want…

Tiger:     What about my…

Doodlebug:   Don’t forget my…

Wiggles:   More blankeys…

Me:        You have three.

Wiggles:   I need a thousand more.

Miss Sweetie:    One of my four chew toys is missing. Right over there. Go get it for me.

Me:        Customer service is closed for the night. Please stop by again in the morning when it will reopen.

Stella:    I told you all that the service in this hotel is terrible.

Me:        Once again, our home. Not a hotel.

Stella:    Mark my words. Tomorrow, I will be speaking to the manager.

Me:        Well, best wishes in finding one. I don’t know who is in charge here.

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

It’s Past Your Bedtime, Human! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen Illustrious and Noble. Oh, and I am an Olde English Bulldogge.

Me:        And you all are not, I repeat, NOT in charge of my sleep schedule. I repeat – NOT!

Stella:    How rude, Lady Human, and how excessively repetitive! And how incorrect.

Me:        No, no, no. You all govern much of my daily schedule. You have no say-so as to when I go to bed.

Stella:    Personally, I don’t care, but Snoopey expects a regular sleepy time.

Me:        So I heard.

Stella:    She told you?

Me:        She complains loudly starting around 10 p.m.

Stella:    Why don’t you just go to bed when she wants to?

Me:        Bulldogs are not the only creatures that can be stubborn.

Stella:    Yes, we are!

Me:        No, you’re not!

Stella:    Yes, we are! Yes, we are! Yes, we are! Are you trying to ruin our reputation?

Me:        I am an adult human. NOBODY tells me when to go to bed!

Snoopey:   Time for bed!

Me:        Okay.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.