I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: If you say so.
Stella: I do. And I am thirsty. Give me a drink.
Me: That is a rude way to ask for something, Stella. And your water bowl is full. Drink your water.
Stella: I want what you are having.
Me: I am taking a swig of coffee before I have to go.
Stella: What is a swig? I want a swig.
Me: A swig is just a quick sip. And you can’t have coffee. Do you want me to leave the television on? I’ll only be out for about an hour. Everybody else is napping.
Stella: Will there be zombies?
Me: No. I can leave it on this station. They will just be showing old westerns.
Stella: That man on the Picture Box. What is he drinking?
Me: Since that is a saloon, I’m guessing it’s whiskey.
Stella: I want a swig of whiskey.
Me: Nope. No way. Not now. Not ever.
Stella: You are a terrible waitress.
Me: I beg your pardon.
Stella: You have it, but I will not be leaving a tip.
Me: Okay, too many movies. Honey, this is not a restaurant. I am not your waitress.
Stella: Of course, you are. We call. You come. You bring us food. You bring us water. You clean out our water bowls. You wipe our faces. You clean our ears…
Me: Hold on a minute. I have never heard of a waitress who cleaned customers’ ears or wiped their faces.
Stella: You haven’t been to very good restaurants then. All bulldog restaurants offer that service. Like this one.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill