It Is Rude To Point – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. As I have said so often, humans are rude.

Me:        So says a bulldog. Where shall my list of rude begin?

Stella:    I’ve heard you say before how rude it is to point. I call all to witness! Has Lady Human or Tall Man ever pointed at you?

Tiger:     Sure.

Wiggles:   All the time.

Doodlebug:   Yep.

Miss Sweetie:  I don’t know. I don’t pay attention.

Snoopey:   Yeah. What’s the big deal?

Stella:    The big deal is respect.

Me:        Exactly. Couldn’t have put it better myself.

Stella:    What? How rude!

Me:        For example, I say, “Time to go out.”

Stella:    Yes, and I say, “No, not time to go out yet.”

Me:        Therefore, I point to the back door.

Stella:    Contradicting my decision by your rude hand gesture.

Me:        And then, I point to you or whoever and point to the door again.

Stella:    And I grudgingly stand up and trudge to the door and out while your rude finger is still pointing as though I don’t know what that means. The humans say that when you are pointing at someone with one finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Me:        Yeah, some people say that. It means don’t go accusing others, especially if you are guilty of the same thing.

Stella:    Just as I thought. You point at me to go do a thing and you need to be doing that 3 times over.

Me:        It doesn’t work that way.

Snoopey:   I like it when the humans point. They seem to know what they are doing.

Tiger:     Yes. No. Maybe.

Doodlebug:        I go where they point because I get a treat when I do.

Wiggles:   There are treats for that?

Miss Sweetie:    I don’t know. I don’t pay attention.

Stella:    And once again, bulldog dignity is sacrificed for cheap treats.

Me:        Hey, those treats cost a lot and I like to call it ‘training’.

Stella:    I call it what it is. Bribery.

Wiggles:   I’ll have some bribery, please.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Not Robots! Wait! Do Robots Get More Treats? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, but you probably know that. What you do not know is that Lady Human has decided that we bulldogs are robots that will do anything she orders us to do. After all this time, she has forgotten that we have pride. We are tenacious. We follow our own rules. We are bulldoggy. So, what do you think of that, Lady Human.

Me: Treat?

Stella: Sure. Don’t mind if I do.

Me: Okay, when you go into your crate.

Stella: Wait! That’s what I was talking about. You believe that you can get us to do anything just for a treat.

Me: I don’t believe it. I know it.

Stella: We are not robots.

Me: Treat?

Stella: Sure.

Me: Okay, go into your crate.

Stella: Okie Dokie. Hold on! I will not! Well, will I still get a treat if I don’t?

Me: No free treats right now. I have to go to the grocery store and you know that it’s not safe for you all if you are all roaming free while Tall Man and I are both gone.

Stella: I know. Bulldog mischief. But we will not be bullied! We are not your robots, obeying your every command! We will fight your human dictatorship!

Me: Oh, look! I just threw a treat into your crate.

Stella: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I’ll get that! Mmmmm! That was a good one. Hey, you shut the door! Oh, not fair!

Me: What’s not fair? You got your treat and you won’t get into trouble while I’m gone.

Stella: You just wait, Lady Human!

Me: Wait for what?

Stella: The Great Bulldog Robot Uprising.

Me: Okay, let me know when that is going to happen. I will need about a week’s notice.

Stella: Sure thing!

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.