I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human has lost something. She shows all the classic human signs. She picks up stuff and puts stuff down again. She keeps circling the same areas, looking, looking. This has been going on for hours. I wish I could help. What are you searching for, Lady Human?
Me: Oh, those toenail clippers I was using on y’all the other day.
Stella: I am sorry that I asked. I wish you all the failure in the world.
Me: Well, that’s rude. I had them right here and I have no idea where I put them. Wait. One of the bulldogs didn’t carry them off, did they?
Stella: I don’t know. Did they? How would I know? What do I look like? Their queen?
Me: I understand that you all don’t like getting your nails trimmed.
Stella: Don’t like? Mild language indeed.
Me: I’ll check in the yard. Maybe Wiggles sneaked out with them.
Stella: Pssst! Hey, Wiggles, did you snatch the nail cutters?
Wiggles: Mmmm. What do they taste like?
Stella: If you see them, grab them. The longer they stay missing, the longer we are free from nail chopping.
Me: Never mind. No worries. Tall Man found them under a cushion on the couch. Wonder how they ended up there.
Miss Sweetie: Sorry, Aunt Stella. I tried. I’m not that good at hide and seek nail clippers.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.