3 Reasons Why This Saturday is Crappy – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. This is a crappy Saturday. Here are the reasons why:

• It is raining…again. We have already had rain this year. Someone needs to cancel the order. We don’t need any more.
• Today was Toenail Trimming Day, the worst day known to bulldogs, or any dogs, for that matter.
• The cat is even weirder than usual. She has taken to wearing a bizarre collar and she looks like a sea monster.

There! My list is complete. The End.

Me:   Hello. I have a few reasons why this Saturday is not crappy at all.

• Yes, there has been a lot of rain thus far this year, but we will be glad of it come summer, so, no, we will not be cancelling any “order” for rain.
• Toenail Trimming Day is far more trying for the humans in your lives than for you. With more cooperation from the bulldogs, it might turn into a fun event.
• Moon the Cat is wearing a protective collar to keep her from licking and exacerbating her itchy skin condition and, if anyone should be able to commiserate with itchy skin conditions, it should be a bulldog. She is not “weirder than usual” and you all have been very rude to her today.

Stella:   Rude to a cat? Impossible! And as for Toenail Trimming Day, why don’t you try it sometime, Lady Human? You let someone cut your nails and tell me how you feel then.

Me:   I have to trim my fingernails all the time. If I don’t, they interfere with my work. And I certainly don’t whine about it the way you all do.

Stella:   Whine? Whine, you say? No bulldog has ever been known to whine in the history of…well…bulldogs. Dignified complainers. That’s what we are. And please see to it that Sunday turns out to be less crappy than Saturday has been.

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.