I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human does not understand me. I need my bulldog/human dictionary, but I have not finished it. Truthfully, I have not even started it yet. It’s not my fault. Naps cut way into my daily schedule.
Me: Try me.
Stella: Okay. Try this. Look at my face. Listen to my voice. Mmmmm-shish.
Me: All right. Do that again.
Me: You want to go outside.
Me: You want a treat.
Stella: Nope…well, yeah, always, but not my message.
Me: Sorry, I don’t know what you are thinking.
Stella: You see? I need a mind reader.
Me: Or maybe you need to send a stronger message.
Stella: Uh, no. I think the problem is on your end, Lady Human. Let’s try again.
Me: Very well.
Me: Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You want to chase the cat.
Stella: Of course, but no. Try again. Mmmmm-shish.
Me: Oh, I’ve got it! Snoopey is talking to Moon the Cat and you want them to shut up!
Stella: Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! What clued you in?
Me: The disgusted, irritated tone.
Stella: Good. It finally came through. Remember that tone for future reference.
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