The Long, Red Monster Incident – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Bulldogs, on my count, 1, 2, 3…ATTACK!

Miss Sweetie:    I’ll get it, Aunt Stella! Nobody invades our home!

Doodlebug:   Stop, you ugly monster! I’ve got you!

Me:        What is going on? Why are you all freaking out?

Snoopey:   See it! See it! Stop it! It has grabbed Tall Man!

Me:    The mop? Not again. More like Tall Man has grabbed it.

Tiger:   No! He is wrestling with it! Back and forth! Back and forth! We must help him!

Me:        Hey, y’all, we’ve had this discussion before. A mop is a floor cleaner. It is not dangerous.

Wiggles:   Of course, it is dangerous! It is long and red. Long, red things are dangerous.

Me:        Can you even see red?

Stella:    When you bring that yellow brush thing out, do we bark at it?

Me:        The broom? As a matter of fact, no.

Stella:    Because it is yellow. Yellow things are not a threat. But red things are monsters.

Me:   So if the mop were yellow, it would be all right?

Stella:    There are no such things as yellow mops. But long, red monsters are real.

Me:        There! He put the mop up. Can you stop barking now?

Stella:    Cease the attack! The long, red monster has retreated. I declare a bulldog victory! Yay us!

Me:        I guess I could always paint the mop handle yellow.

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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