I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. My question today is ‘Am I a people?’ Lady Human, you are the expert on human words. Am I a people or not?
Me: Well, technically not…
Me: …because the word ‘people’ is plural…
Stella: More nonsense.
Me: Which means two or more and you are only one.
Stella: Yes, I am the one and only Stella.
Me: True, you are the one and only of yourself, but there are other Stellas.
Stella: So, me and all the other Stellas are people.
Me: Again, not technically…
Me: …because the word ‘people’ means ‘human beings’.
Stella: Woah! Hold on there! You are saying that we Stellas can’t be people because we are not human?
Me: I am sure that there are some human Stellas out there so the word ‘people’ refers only to them.
Stella: Well, I never! How selfish can humans get?
Me: Pretty doggone selfish sometimes. And then, other times, we do better.
Stella: Stealing words and saying that non-humans can’t use them!
Me: You realize, don’t you, that we are talking about human language? Words that humans speak? To other humans?
Stella: Pfffftt! I hear you speaking human words to me all the time, words that you expect me to understand. And then you change the meaning of the words. ‘This means this and that means that, but now, all of a sudden, without warning, that means this and this means that other thing.’ Pfffftt!
Me: Okay, but you have dog words that we humans can’t even pronounce. Like that ‘pfffftt’ thing that you do with your mouth.
Stella: Pfffftt! There! That’s how you say it. Easy.
Stella: No, like this. Put your lips like this.
Stella: No, keep your lips tight over your teeth.
Stella: No. Please stop. Don’t even try anymore. Dog words sound terrible coming out of your mouth.
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