I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, Illustrious, Noble, and slightly ticked off. I eat once a day (not counting treats), sometimes twice a day if I don’t feel like finishing my breakfast all at one time. But Lady Human is another matter. She eats umpteen gillion times a day (yes, that is a number – a bulldog number) and she never offers me any.
Me: You eat exactly as much as is recommended for you. If I start giving you my food, there will be no end.
Stella: Of course not, because you never stop eating.
Stella: How many times a day do you eat?
Me: I refuse to be judged by a bulldog. Especially not by a bulldog with your fascination over food.
Stella: How many? How many? How many?
Me: Oh, all right. Stop hopping up and down. Well, there is breakfast.
Stella: And then?
Me: Second breakfast?
Stella: Like those cute Hobbits in that long, long movie with all the ugly orcs and that Ring that everybody just had to have. I understand. Sometimes one breakfast is simply not enough.
Me: Then lunch. And then a light snack, usually fruit. And after that, a high protein snack. And finally, supper.
Stella: Lady Human, for shame!
Me: I break my food consumption up into 6 small meals a day instead of 3 larger ones. It works well for me.
Stella: And what do you call your meal of cookies, brownies, cake, and candy?
Me: I don’t make a meal of that.
Me: I mean I may have some of that stuff once in a while, but it’s not a meal.
Me: It’s not!
Stella: Share with me when you decide to eat it next time.
Me: I can’t. It’s not healthy…
Stella: Ummm! Caught!
Me: Hey, there’s a lot of stuff that is healthy for me, that I can eat but you can’t – avocados, grapes, raisins, garlic, onions, chocolate…
Stella: Cookies, brownies, cake, candy.
Me: Why is it important to you what I eat?
Stella: I care.
Me: Stella, I’m touched. That is so sweet. You care.
Stella: Of course, I care. I will always care. Food. It’s what’s for supper.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.