Why Is My Food Always Brown? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I am bringing a complaint to the management of this hotel.

Me:        Hotel?

Stella:    All of my food is brown all the time. It is boring. You have different colors of food on your plate. I want some of that.

Me:        Stella, you eat a very healthy diet that is great for bulldogs. I never see you turning your nose up at it.

Stella:    And I never will. I just want your pretty food, too.

Me:        Well, maybe I am not inclined to share my food with you.

Stella:    I am willing to trade.

Me:        Honestly, Stella, I don’t see myself eating your dogfood. It is a little…unappetizing for a human.

Stella:    Unappetizing. Is that another word for brown?

Me:        No, it means your food was not made for humans and is not attractive to us.

Stella:    What? Why not? It smells good. It tastes good. It is just boring to look at. Wait! Is something wrong with it?

Me:        No, not for bulldogs.

Stella:    That is what I thought. Bulldogs are not being treated like honored guests at this hotel!

Me:        Stella, this is not a hotel. This is our home.

Stella:    I saw hotels on the Picture Box. Don’t you bring us room service?

Me:        Well…sort of. We serve you food.

Stella:    So this is a hotel. I am giving it one star.

Me:        At least a bad rating would insure that we would have no visitors, if this were a hotel which it is not.

Stella:    Exactly. We don’t need no visitors taking our rooms and eating our brown food. If you work on getting us some red and yellow and green food, maybe I can give you another star.

Me:        That would just attract strangers and you don’t want that, remember?

Stella:    Oh, yeah. Better leave it at one star.


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

One thought on “Why Is My Food Always Brown? – Conversations with Stella

  1. We hear you, Stella. Our Human Mommy has started cooking for us but sadly most of the offerings are still brownish if not outright brown. Delicious, though…We have to admit that the home-cooked stuff is as delicious as the gloop that comes from the cans. Woofs and Wags, Cosmo and Stella

    Liked by 1 person

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