I am here once again with Queen Stella of the Olde English Bulldogges…
Stella: I like that! It makes me sound official.
Me: In Bulldog Land, you are as official as it gets.
Stella: Why were you wearing your weird face?
Me: I beg your pardon? I don’t have a weird face to wear.
Stella: Yes, you do. It shows up whenever one of us has done something that you can’t figure out with your human brain.
Me: I wasn’t aware…well, I have been surprised by some of Doodlebug’s and Miss Sweetie’s antics lately.
Stella: Antics are like when they burp or jump up on chairs or stand on tables like they are going to give a speech?
Me: No, those are normal bulldog activities. I mean the scary smart stuff like, well, here’s a list:
Doodlebug opened the back door again by turning the handle,
Miss Sweetie uses her mouth to try to turn on things like faucets,
Doodlebug does a quick gymnastic neck duck to get out of the lead when it’s loose,
Doodlebug puts any stick he is chewing on down in a special place when he comes in because he knows that I am going to take it away from him,
Doodlebug knows how to slide the latch to open his crate
They both know how to reach in and steal eggs from the chickens,
Doodlebug knows when breakfast time is within ten minutes either way…
Stella: It sounds like Doodlebug is the smart one and Miss Sweetie has just made a couple of lucky guesses. Why is it scary smart?
Me: Because we don’t expect dogs to figure out how to do some of the complicated stuff that we do.
Stella: Because you think we are dumb.
Me: Not dumb. Just dogs.
Stella: Just dogs! Just dogs! I knew it! Humans think they are all that and a bag of doggy treats, too! Hmmph! Watch as I turn my head away in disgust! You humans think that you control everything!
Me: Well, not everything, but things like door handles and faucets, yes.
Stella: You just wait. One day we will send a dog to the moon so he can pee on it and return safely to Earth.
Me: Oh, great. A dog peeing on the moon, too. And who is going to build this dog spaceship?
Stella: Well, never mind. You just guard your faucets and door handles. And the washing machine.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.