I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Allow me to interrupt.
Stella: Why not? You do all the time even without permission.
Me: Only as necessary, so yes, just about all the time. What was that horrible throaty noise you were making to the other dogs? It sounded like gargling embedded in a whine.
Stella: You have no appreciation for bulldoggese! Horrible? Gargling? Whine?
Me: That’s what it sounded like to my human ears.
Stella: I was giving a speech to my followers. You humans understand this. I have been hearing nothing but speeches from your human overlords for many days now.
Me: Uh, excuse me. We don’t have human overlords. Not that some humans don’t try to lord it over us.
Stella: That’s not what I was hearing on the Picture Box. And if you humans make speeches, why can’t I make one…or two…or a few more to my bulldogs?
Me: What were you saying to the bulldogs?
Stella: I told them that humans talk a lot and say very little. I told them that they were not to worry about that. I told them that they are not responsible for human speech that means nothing. I told them to ignore the cat, too. She talks entirely too much and nothing she says makes any sense. And I told them that if they don’t understand something that a human tells them to do, they should just start barking and the humans will give up.
Me: Oh, thank you, Stella, that is so helpful.
Stella: You are welcome.
Me: No wonder the bulldogs are barking so much!
Stella: I am their Queen. They do listen to me. Sometimes. Do humans listen to their leaders when they make speeches?
Stella: Maybe I should start making speeches to the humans. Maybe they would listen to me.
Me: You know, Stella, under the current circumstances, it couldn’t hurt.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.