Me: Hello again. Stella is back…
Stella: Queen Stella.
Me: Mmmhmm… with an issue that has been bothering her.
Stella: Wiggles is the issue that has been bothering me. Wiggles!
Me: Wiggles is an Olde English Bulldogge, just like you are. She is your half-sister. She is not an “issue”.
Stella: You can’t fool me, Lady Human. I saw you ruffle your lips and blow out your cheeks. You looked like a frustrated bulldog. I wanted to laugh. Your face was so funny. But I didn’t because I was a frustrated bulldog. Wiggles is a disobeyer. She doesn’t mind you. More than that, she hasn’t been minding me! That’s what is important.
Me: Wait! You think it is more important for her to obey you than to obey me? Really? That’s not a safe attitude. Y’all are smart dogs, but humans know a whole bunch more than you do.
Stella: Please understand. I don’t really care at all what Wiggles does. She can charge around the room like her goofy self as long as she doesn’t bump into me. She can chew on stuff as long as it’s not my stuff. She can grab the cat’s food; in fact, please do. She can dance her comma dance so long as I don’t have to watch it.
Me: So it’s all about you.
Stella: Of course. I thought you already knew that. Queen Stella. Remember?
Me: How can I forget?
Stella: Don’t worry. I will remind you constantly.
Me: That is a rather selfish way to live, isn’t it? What about sharing?
Stella: Sharing is for puppies. I’ve done my bit. I’m finished. What about humans? Tell me about your selfish way to live.
Me: Uh, well…I guess I can be selfish. I try not to be.
Stella: What about sharing?
Me: I share…some.
Stella: I saw you with smoked sausages. You didn’t share that with me.
Me: It was part of one sausage and it was my whole dinner and…hey! I don’t have to explain to you what I do with my food. I have shared plenty with you bulldogs.
Stella: That depends. How do you define “plenty”?
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.