Watch the Way I Walk – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I walk like a queen.

Me:        If a queen sashays, you do.

Stella:    Sashay? You mean when I walk all fancy with my whole body shifting back and forth and back and forth.

Tiger:     Yes, it’s disgusting. Please stop it. I can’t watch it anymore.

Stella:    How rude! Show me more respect! I am your queen!

Tiger:     I still haven’t figured out how that happened.

Wiggles:   Look at me. I can walk funny, too!

Stella:    That’s a comma dance. And who are you calling ‘funny’? Your walk is not a sashay. My style is more dignified and, dare I say it, ladylike.

Me:        You mean human?

Stella:    No! Heaven forbid! I am a bulldog. Why would I want to be like a human?

Doodlebug:        How about my walk?

Me:        Yeah, Doodle. Your stallion walk on your hind legs is something else.

Stella:    Cute, but only one of those tricks the humans love because it makes you look like them, all sassy on their hind legs.

Me:        Humans don’t have hind legs.

Miss Sweetie:    Look at my walk, Aunt Stella. I can sashay, too. My rear end moves this way and my rear end moves that way. And my rear end moves…

Stella:    I get the picture. Sorry, Sweetie. That is just walking, regular old everyday walking. Walking is great, but only a true queen can sashay, and I am a true queen, despite the fact that my head is still lacking a crown. Hint, hint, Lady Human.

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Walk With Me – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I have a complaint.

Me:        That is not news.

Stella:    Why do you repeat yourself so much?

Me:        One guess.

Stella:    Just one?

Me:        That’s all you should need.

Stella:    Hmmm. One guess. Let’s see. You repeat yourself because you never pay attention to what you are saying.

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    Are you sure? How do you know?

Me:        I just know.

Stella:    Ohhhh. I used up my only guess, didn’t I? Pooh. What’s the answer?

Me:        I repeat myself to be heard. Either the bulldogs ignore me or are so loud that they can’t hear me.

Stella:    Oh, we don’t ignore you, Lady Human. We just don’t care what you have to say. But what is this sentence you keep using over and over with Miss Sweetie and Doodlebug? ‘Walk with me. Walk with me.’ Boring.

Me:        I am trying to train them to walk with me, not against me. I need them to stop rampaging through the house. When it is time to go outside, they need to walk along with me, not stop to chase the cat or sniff at every little thing or go running wildly or jump on the furniture. This is not a circus. This is our house.

Stella:    I thought this was a circus, only without elephants and tigers.

Me:        Even in a circus, there are rules.

Stella:    Repeating yourself will not get their attention.

Me:        You and the other grownup dogs don’t rampage. Well, not much.

Stella:    Sadly, rampaging through the house is for the very young.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.