I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human wants to make another of her useless announcements. I had rather take a nap.
Me: Why ‘useless’?
Stella: What part of bulldog don’t you understand?
Me: I have noted a disturbing trend during the past week.
Stella: Have you noticed that humans are getting more annoying?
Me: No. Yes. No. Maybe.
Stella: That’s the disturbing trend I have noticed.
Me: I have noticed that the bulldogs, including you, oh Queen, have been rushing the doors to push through ahead of me with the result that you all are banging your shoulders into my legs and into the door. You won’t even let me get the door open before you slam your shoulders into it. And you know what that means?
Stella: It means that you are not opening the doors quickly enough. Hurry up from now on. End of trend.
Me: It means a traffic jam, and no one gets through until somebody backs up.
Stella: And that somebody is you.
Me: How about a little less rush? How about taking turns?
Stella: Yes, I agree, Lady Human, that is exactly what you should do.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.