Beep! Beep! Out of My Way! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Woah! Watch out, Sweetie!

Miss Sweetie:    Comin’ through!

Me:        Slow down, Sweetie!

Miss Sweetie:    Comin’ through!

Me:        Why don’t you go around me? My legs have a right to be where they are.

Miss Sweetie:    Beep! Beep! Comin’ through!


Me:        Beep? Where did you learn that?

Miss Sweetie:    In the Rolling Box, when we went to see the white coat people. Beep is what the Rolling Box said when other Rolling Boxes got in the way.

Stella:    Lady Human, did you beep at the other Rolling Boxes?

Me:        I don’t remember honking at anybody.

Miss Sweetie:    Beep! Beep! Out of my way! Comin’ through!

Stella:    Wow! Sweetie has the broadest bulldog shoulders. She’s a tank, like in those human war Picture Box shows you watch. She just doesn’t wear watch bands on her feet like they do.

Me:        She’s a veritable linebacker.

Stella:    Linebacker? She backs a line? I don’t understand.

Me:        No, a linebacker is a football player, big, tough…

Stella:    Football? Those humans who wear hard, round hats and smash into each other? COOL! I LOVE FOOTBALL!

Miss Sweetie:    Out of my way! Comin’ through!

Me:        Okay, Sweetie, where are you going in such a big hurry that you can’t avoid hitting my legs and pushing past me?

Miss Sweetie:    I’m taking my chicken for a walk. Comin’ through!

Me:        Sorry, but your stuffed chicken doesn’t need to walk.

Miss Sweetie:    Yes, she does. Watch out! Comin’ through!

Me:        Sweetie, look at the bruises on my legs!

Miss Sweetie:    Sorry, Lady Human.

Stella:    Yeah, Lady Human, but that’s what you get for standing in the middle of a bulldog highway. Beep! Beep!



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Stella’s News Flash – Giant Insect Army

Hello, humans! I am Stella, Queen Illustrious of the Olde English Bulldogges. Please be aware! Two giant insect armies are fighting on a field and nobody is doing anything to break it up. The only thing the humans here are doing is watching it and using it as yet another excuse to eat lots of food that they are not sharing with us bulldogs.

Me:        Wait.What? Giant insect armies? No. It’s football. The Super Bowl.

Stella:    A super bowl of food that we are not getting to enjoy. A super bowl of disappointment.

Me:        It is a game.

Stella:    I don’t think those giant insects think it is a game. They are fighting hard.

Me:        Yes, but it is still a game, and they are not giant insects.

Stella:    They have shiny round heads and their faces are covered and their shoulders are huge.

Me:        Every time someone wears a helmet, you think that they are a giant insect. That’s not true. A helmet is head protection.

Stella:    I would expect a giant insect to say that. Why are the humans not stopping these insect armies from fighting? Why are you watching it and eating food like it is a movie and, most importantly, why are you not sharing your food with us?

Me:        Number one: these are humans, not insects. Number two: It is a game, albeit a tough one.  These are teams, not armies. Number three: Eating fun food during a Super Bowl is a time-honored human tradition. Number four: Our football food would make you bulldogs sick.

Stella:    Doesn’t it make you sick?

Me:        Well…I will decline to comment on that for now. So do you understand? Human teams playing a game while people watch and eat food that is bad for bulldogs.

Stella:    If you say so, Lady Human. Meanwhile, I will prepare the bulldogs for the inevitable giant insect invasion by the winning army. All right. ”Team”.




Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.