Where Have You Been? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Nobody pulls the dog blanket over my eyes. Something went on today and I will have the truth!

Me:        Okay.

Stella:    I scent lots of dogs on you, Lady Human. Lots and lots of different dogs! Millions of nasal receptors cannot be wrong. Where have you been?

Me:        Uhhhmmm.

Stella:    Where have you been, Lady Human? Where have you been?

Me:        I went to a dog show. Specifically, a bulldog show.

Stella:    A bulldog show? Why?

Me:        Tall Man and I were invited by some friends who were showing dogs and we went. And it was very boring and nothing happened at all.

Stella:    Why are you saying that? There were bulldogs. It could not have been boring.

Me:        It was no big deal. There were some nice people and there were some beautiful dogs…

Stella:    Oh, I see.

Me:        Not that you all aren’t beautiful dogs. You are.

Stella:    I have seen those dogs at shows on the Picture Box. They are perfect. They run and prance. Their hair is lovely. I bet they smell good, too. I don’t look anything like they do.

Me:        Oh, Stella, pretty is as pretty does. Those dogs on TV look perfect because their handlers spend tons of time on their looks. I don’t care how you look.

Stella:    You never thought of taking me to one of those shows.

Me:        No, I didn’t. I just want to enjoy our life here. You can be clean and have your ears and face washed.

Stella:    Yuck!

Me:        You see! If you entered a show, there would be constant grooming and toenail trimming and…

Stella:    Yuck!

Me:        Exactly.

Stella:    You think I am ugly. Not pretty enough to show.

Me:        I admire those people and their animals, the ones that go to shows. I really do. There is an awful lot of work and diligence involved. And I’m not saying that I would never ever do it. But I am satisfied with us the way we are here. I don’t need a judge telling me that you are beautiful. I know that already. It doesn’t take a ribbon to tell me that you are a champion.

Stella:    They win ribbons? Are there treats?

Me:        No, I don’t think so.

Stella:    Never mind then. Waste of my time.

 

 

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