I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Nobody pulls the dog blanket over my eyes. Something went on today and I will have the truth!
Stella: I scent lots of dogs on you, Lady Human. Lots and lots of different dogs! Millions of nasal receptors cannot be wrong. Where have you been?
Stella: Where have you been, Lady Human? Where have you been?
Me: I went to a dog show. Specifically, a bulldog show.
Stella: A bulldog show? Why?
Me: Tall Man and I were invited by some friends who were showing dogs and we went. And it was very boring and nothing happened at all.
Stella: Why are you saying that? There were bulldogs. It could not have been boring.
Me: It was no big deal. There were some nice people and there were some beautiful dogs…
Stella: Oh, I see.
Me: Not that you all aren’t beautiful dogs. You are.
Stella: I have seen those dogs at shows on the Picture Box. They are perfect. They run and prance. Their hair is lovely. I bet they smell good, too. I don’t look anything like they do.
Me: Oh, Stella, pretty is as pretty does. Those dogs on TV look perfect because their handlers spend tons of time on their looks. I don’t care how you look.
Stella: You never thought of taking me to one of those shows.
Me: No, I didn’t. I just want to enjoy our life here. You can be clean and have your ears and face washed.
Me: You see! If you entered a show, there would be constant grooming and toenail trimming and…
Stella: You think I am ugly. Not pretty enough to show.
Me: I admire those people and their animals, the ones that go to shows. I really do. There is an awful lot of work and diligence involved. And I’m not saying that I would never ever do it. But I am satisfied with us the way we are here. I don’t need a judge telling me that you are beautiful. I know that already. It doesn’t take a ribbon to tell me that you are a champion.
Stella: They win ribbons? Are there treats?
Me: No, I don’t think so.
Stella: Never mind then. Waste of my time.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.