Learn to Prioritize – Conversations with Stella

Me:        One of the most important life lessons is learning to prioritize.

Stella:    Wait! Why are you talking?

Me:        I need to remind you all that when we go outside, bathroom comes first.

Stella:    And again, why are you talking?

Me:        I have a few things to say.

Stella:    Maybe, but are they things we want to hear?

Me:        When we go outside, all bathroom business takes priority.

Stella:    How is that your business?

Me:        It becomes my business when bulldogs play and come back in and then, ALL OF A SUDDEN, SURPRISE!

Stella:    Oh, Lady Human, it’s never all of a sudden and it’s never really a surprise, to us anyway. Stuff happens.

Me:        Stuff should not happen in the house. Understand? When you go outside, the first thing should be the first thing. Prioritize. Get the important things done and then play play.

Stella:    Is that a human rule? Do humans do that?

Me:        Well…

Stella:    That’s what I thought. Problem easily solved, Lady Human. Install that indoor toilet for the bulldogs. I’ve been arguing for this forever. Your life made easier. Our lives made easier. Easy peasy.

Me:        Not going to happen. That project does not appear on any of my to-do lists.

Stella:    Typical. The easiest solution is the one the humans reject. All right. Let’s just hope that your list of priorities eventually matches ours.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Priorities – Conversations with Stella

Hello! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, Illustrious and Noble and still crown-less. And might I add Stella the Cat Catcher. All I can say is OW!

Me:        And you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Stella:    You didn’t tell me that cat claws hurt.

Me:        Did you think that they were purely decorative? I warned you not to chase Moon the Cat. You chose to do that instead of getting petted. What was that about?

Stella:    First things first. Cat chasing, then pets and rubs and scratching. Human scratching does not hurt. Why do cat claws hurt?

Me:        Cat claws are functional weapons for defense and, if necessary, for catching food and establishing territorial boundaries. My fingernails, not so much. I told you…

Stella:    I know. I know. Don’t chase the cat.

Me:        She could have done a lot worse to you. You have a tiny blood pinprick on your nose and one on your muzzle.

Stella:    Ow. It doesn’t hurt so much now. Did she mess up my beautiful face?

Me:        Not at all. By tomorrow, no one will be able to tell that it happened, not even you. You understand what your mistake was, don’t you? The other bulldogs chase the cat and never have gotten swiped by her. You don’t just chase her; you insist on catching her.

Stella:    I never hurt her. I never bite. I just drool on her a little.

Me:        You could pull back at the last second and do a stare down the way the others do. But Noooo…not Stella the Cat Catcher.

Stella:    All right. All right. I am so embarrassed. For today only, my name is Stella the Cat-Scratched. Don’t say it in front of the others. It makes my ears cramp up just thinking about it. But tomorrow Stella the Cat Catcher will be back, bigger and bolder than ever. I know what I want for Christmas, Lady Human. A big scary mask and a helmet. CHARGE!

Me:        And I can get Moon the Cat a pair of cat-sized boxing gloves. That might save a lot of trouble.

 

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.