Bulldog Priorities – Conversations with Stella

Hello! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, Illustrious and Noble and still crown-less. And might I add Stella the Cat Catcher. All I can say is OW!

Me:        And you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Stella:    You didn’t tell me that cat claws hurt.

Me:        Did you think that they were purely decorative? I warned you not to chase Moon the Cat. You chose to do that instead of getting petted. What was that about?

Stella:    First things first. Cat chasing, then pets and rubs and scratching. Human scratching does not hurt. Why do cat claws hurt?

Me:        Cat claws are functional weapons for defense and, if necessary, for catching food and establishing territorial boundaries. My fingernails, not so much. I told you…

Stella:    I know. I know. Don’t chase the cat.

Me:        She could have done a lot worse to you. You have a tiny blood pinprick on your nose and one on your muzzle.

Stella:    Ow. It doesn’t hurt so much now. Did she mess up my beautiful face?

Me:        Not at all. By tomorrow, no one will be able to tell that it happened, not even you. You understand what your mistake was, don’t you? The other bulldogs chase the cat and never have gotten swiped by her. You don’t just chase her; you insist on catching her.

Stella:    I never hurt her. I never bite. I just drool on her a little.

Me:        You could pull back at the last second and do a stare down the way the others do. But Noooo…not Stella the Cat Catcher.

Stella:    All right. All right. I am so embarrassed. For today only, my name is Stella the Cat-Scratched. Don’t say it in front of the others. It makes my ears cramp up just thinking about it. But tomorrow Stella the Cat Catcher will be back, bigger and bolder than ever. I know what I want for Christmas, Lady Human. A big scary mask and a helmet. CHARGE!

Me:        And I can get Moon the Cat a pair of cat-sized boxing gloves. That might save a lot of trouble.

 

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

2 thoughts on “Bulldog Priorities – Conversations with Stella

  1. Oh no, my Illustrious Bulldoggy Queen! Say it isn’t so! A Meowy got your beautiful face? Stick to squirrels, my liege. A true Dog Royal has no place messing with Cats. There are other Bulldogs in your kingdom, no? Send them as your avenging army.

    Woofs and Wags, Princess Stella who lives in a Castle with eight Meowies, including Phelps who pounces on Pit Bulls for sport, and who therefore knows what she’s woofing about

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your wise advice. I have to admit that as much fun as I think chasing Moon the Cat is, if I saw my big bulldoggy mouth headed my way, I might react the same way she did. Enjoy a quiet, chase-free evening, my fair friends!

      Signed, Stella, Still the Queen

      Liked by 1 person

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