Champion Cat Catcher – Conversations with Stella and Doodlebug

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hello! I am so proud of my boy, Doodlebug, that even though he is not my son, I am adopting him as my son and the heir to my cat-chasing, cat-tackling legacy.

Doodlebug:   So now I have 2 moms?

Stella:    Yes. No. Yes. Maybe.

Doodlebug:   Since you are the Queen and I am now your son, does that mean that I am the King?

Stella:    No.

Doodlebug:        The Prince?


Stella:    No.

Doodlebug:   Pooh!

Stella:    Because of your great feat yesterday, you are our champion cat chaser, cat tackler, cat…

Doodlebug:   Hugger!

Stella:    No, Doodle! Hush! Ugly talk!

Me:   Stella! Doodlebug is a free-style cat chaser. Not everybody chases cats in the same way. In fact, before yesterday, I had never seen Doodle put any effort into chasing the cat at all.

Stella:   Yeah, and then all of a sudden, he was a natural. I am so proud. He charged around and saw the cat sleeping in your chair. Sleeping in YOUR chair! Where is your self-respect, Lady Human? Allowing a cat to sleep in your personal space? Really?

Me:        And, all of a sudden, Doodlebug was on top of the cat, completely covering her with his big old Doodlebug body. And she didn’t scratch him or bite him or hiss at him.

Stella:    A tactical error on her part.

Me:        He eased back, and she scooted away.

Doodlebug:  Cats are soft.

Stella:    Doodlebug!

Doodlebug:   Cats are cuddly and huggable.

Stella:    Doodle, stop!

Doodlebug:   Cats are our friends.

Stella:    Noooo! Heresy! You are a bulldog!

Me:        Well, Moon the Cat is none the worse for wear.


Stella:    Awww! The cat is not afraid of bulldogs! The world has changed! All is lost! Oh, well. There’s always tomorrow.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.





Stop Trying to Lead Yourself – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I can’t stop laughing.

Me:        That probably means that you are laughing at one of us. Bulldog or human?

Stella:    Both. It was hilarious. You had Miss Sweetie on the lead and all of a sudden she jerked it out of your hand and picked up the end you had been holding and she had it in her mouth while she was still wearing it and SHE STARTED LEADING HERSELF WITH IT! So funny. You should have seen the look on your face.

Me:        I’m kind of glad that I didn’t.

Stella:    Miss Sweetie is so funny! Taking herself for a walk! It’s good that we were not outside.

Me:        She would not have gotten far. Did you notice that she was going around in circles?

Stella:    Yes, Wiggles dances in circles. Now Miss Sweetie leads herself around in circles, going nowhere fast.

Me:        They lacked a plan. And boy, am I glad of that.

Stella:    I don’t like the lead.

Me:        Most don’t.

Stella:    Even humans?

Me:        Especially humans.

Stella:    Because you think you are all that and a bag of doggy treats?

Me:        Yep. It’s called pride and we are really good at it.

Stella:    You are proud of pride.

Me:        No, I’m ashamed of it. It’s like me trying to lead myself and just going in circles.

Stella:    So you and Miss Sweetie have a lot in common.

Me:        Well, I hope I smell a little bit better.

“Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me: for Thou art the God of my salvation; on Thee do I wait all the day.” Psalm 25:5 KJV



Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.