Where Did My Hair Get Off To? – Conversations with Stella and Wiggles

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, you need to give Wiggles some of your clothes.

Me:        Why?

Stella:    She is running around naked.

Me:        Technically, so are you. So are all of you.

Stella:    Nonsense. I am covered with hair. I am never naked. That is my natural state. But just look at Wiggles. She is naked on both sides.

Me:        Yeah, she’s blown her coat again. That happens about once a year with her. A good number of dogs blow their coats going from winter into spring. Her coat is a lot thinner than yours so when she loses hair, her skin shows through.

Wiggles:   Where did my hair get off to?


Me:        Check the ground.

Wiggles:   Please sweep it up and stick it back on, Lady Human. Stella keeps calling me naked like that’s something bad. Is that bad?

Me:        Well, you’re only missing some hair on your sides. It’s growing back in.

Wiggles:   My sides do feel a little breezy when the wind blows. Maybe I should go naked all the time, especially in the hot season.

Stella:    NOOOO!!! Nobody wants to see that! Cover it up! Cover it up! Somebody, find my sweater!





Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Weird Humans and Their Clothes 

I am Stella, Queen of the Illustrious Olde English Bulldogges. Well, some may be illustrious. I know that I am. Lady Human, what were those strange clothes you put on today? They looked…dignified. Not like your regular clothes.

Me:        I had an event to attend.

Stella:    Was it so important that you had to leave us alone all afternoon? Do we have to talk about the curfew thing again?

Me:        As I have said before, bulldogs do not dictate my schedule. It only lasted a few hours. I went because a professor at my old law school is retiring and he was giving a speech about what he has learned.

Stella:    Retiring? Is that the same as dying? That is so sad.

Me:        No, retiring is not the same as dying. He is just leaving his job there after many years. It is not sad. He will go on with his life in different ways.

Stella:    So you had to put on special clothes because someone is leaving a job and will live differently. Humans are weird, Lady Human.

Me:        It is hard to explain to one who does not wear clothing.

Stella:    Why do humans wear clothing?

Me:        It stems from what happened in Eden at the Fall.

Stella:    When everything changed?

Me:        Yes.

Stella:    Your clothes are inconvenient. They snag on our nails and on our crates. They have to be washed in the big Loud Wash Machine Thing that keeps breaking down.

Me:        Well, it’s old and has done a whole ton or more of bulldog washing.

Stella:    And why do humans wear clothes?

Me:        So we will not be naked.

Stella:    Dogs are naked and we are not ashamed.

Me:        It’s a human thing, Stella. You will have to understand it from the Great Creator. He is the One Who first clothed us.

Stella:    Well, in that case, all right. I still think human clothes are weird and what you put on today was super strange. And don’t go to any more retirement speeches! You belong to us. You need to stay here while we nap and snore.

Me:        Is that my only function?

Stella:    Of course not, Lady Human. You also are to bring us food and treats and play with us and bring us treats and take us on our bathroom walks and keep spying squirrels away and bring us treats and…

Me:        Okay, Stella, okay. I am beginning to get the picture.





Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.