I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, QUESTION!
Me: No need to yell.
Stella: I am not yelling. I simply have a big mouth. Get used to it. Why don’t you act like the humans on that Picture Box you call TV?
Me: For one thing, those are mostly actors and actresses. And advertising people who are selling stuff. And politicians. And news reporters.
Stella: Okay, so everybody is putting on a show. Got it. Why can’t you act more like them?
Me: You like what you see in humans on TV?
Stella: They smile a lot.
Me: You want me to smile more. Like this?
Stella: Ew, no! Stop smiling!
Me: Aw, you don’t like my smile.
Stella: It looks phony. I want you to smile like those TV people.
Me: And you think their smiles are less phony than mine. Okay. What else do the TV humans do that I don’t?
Stella: They tell jokes all the time and lots of invisible people laugh.
Me: Those invisible people are either a studio audience or taped laughter.
Stella: Yes. Exactly. That’s how our house should be. Lots of laughing all the time. Bulldogs are hilarious. You should be hilarious, too.
Me: That might be too much hilarity.
Stella: No. Just be funny and get some of those invisible people in here to laugh.
Me: What else?
Stella: We can turn the humans on TV off any time we want to.
Me: So, you want me to…
Stella: Turn yourself off from time to time.
Me: Oh, thanks.
Stella: You have been staying up later and later which means that we have been staying up later and later. Turn off the Picture Box, the big one and the little one you carry around, and turn yourself off. Go to bed so I can turn myself off and go to bed. Then you will be a true TV human. You push that button and turn them off so they all go to sleep.
Me: Actually, pushing that button just turns the TV off. The people aren’t affected.
Stella: You mean they keep on moving around inside that dark box, stumbling into each other, and are never allowed to sleep? NO!
Me: Don’t freak out, Stella! That is not what happens. The TV people are not in the Picture Box, ever.
Stella: Are you sure? Maybe we should open it up and see.
Me: Trust me.
Stella: Like we trust the people on TV? Sure thing.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.