Who’s a What? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am a good girl.

Me:        Yes, you are.

Stella:    What am I?

Me:        A good girl.

Stella:    Are you sure?

Me:        Yes. Good girl.

Stella:    Why?

Me:        Why what?

Stella:    Why am I a good girl?

Me:        Well, when we go out, you won’t jump on people or attack other dogs.

Stella:    So, I am a good girl because of what I don’t do.

Me:        Yeah…

Stella:    That’s all ‘good girl’ means then.  I don’t act like a jerk when we go out. Okay.

Me:        ‘Good girl’ is shorthand for everything you are. You are trustworthy. I can take you anywhere and not have to worry about your behavior. And when so many people are afraid of bulldogs…

Stella:    I know! Why are they like that?

Me:        Bad experiences, I guess. I don’t know, but ‘good girl’ means I can trust you. And ‘good girl’ means that you don’t try to stuff everything in the house into your mouth. I can leave the room and come back to find the furniture still intact. And ‘good girl’ also means that you do not bark insanely over nothing the way some we know do.

Stella:    Name names. Oh, let me! Snoopey. Miss Sweetie. And Tiger, every other day. Say more about me!

Me:        You have a sweet temper. You are patient when I have a lot to do.

Stella:    Like when I wait for the bathroom door to open so I can go potty.

Me:        The back door.

Stella:    That’s what I said. I always wait for the bathroom. I am a good girl.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

Who’s A Good Boy? I Don’t Care! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Humans have annoying habits. I plan to make a long list of them some day. Lady Human has the annoying habit of telling Doodlebug what a ‘good boy’ he is. Over and over again, she says, ‘Who’s a good boy?’ As Doodlebug is the only boy dog here, the answer is obvious. The question need not be asked. If there is a good boy, it has to be Doodlebug. Nobody else qualifies.

Me:        What’s wrong with encouraging Doodlebug with some positive words? So, I call him a ‘good boy’ when he does what he is told.

Stella:    Tell me, Lady Human, what great feat did he perform to merit all this praise? Did he save human or dog lives? Did he climb a mighty mountain or swim across a sea? Did he bake enough treats for all of us to have our fill?

Me:        Well, no. Not any of those things.

Stella:    Why is he such a ‘good boy’ then?

Me:        He stopped rampaging when I asked him. And he went into his crate when it was time for me to go to the store. And…

Stella:    Woo-hoo! Good boy, Doodlebug!

Doodlebug:   I know.

Stella:    You know, don’t you, ‘good boy’,that cooperation goes against everything we bulldogs stand for.

Me:        Don’t I tell you that you are a good girl?

Stella:    Not nearly often enough.

Me:        Good girl.

Stella:    Well, yeah.

Me:        Aw, Stella, who’s a good girl?

Stella:    I am?

Me:        You had better believe it, good girl!

Stella:    I am a good girl. Take that, Doodlebug! I am a good girl!

Doodlebug:   I know. And I’m a good boy. What’s the big deal?

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.