You Smell Good! Wait! Where Have You Been? – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella the Illustrious. (That sounds so good, doesn’t it?) I am Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hello! And once again, Lady Human has come home after dark with no explanation for her absence.

Me:        Well, excuse me!

Stella:    No. Not this time.

Me:        Stella, I am a human, remember? I am not subject to any bulldog curfew.

Stella:    When you left, it was daylight. When you came home, it was dark.

Me:        I was gone for a total of four hours.

Stella:    And you came home smelling of popcorn.

Me:        Really? I didn’t notice.

Stella:    Are you questioning my dog nose? Even a bulldog has a better sense of scent than any human. You also smelled of wieners and bread and mustard, a delicious odor from what you so rudely refer to as a “Hot Dog”.

Me:        You caught that, too. Your nose is more sensitive than I thought. I wasn’t anywhere near the Hot Dog Stand.

Stella:    Aha! A confession! You went to a party without us!

Me:        Stella, honey, I go lots of places without y’all. No dogs were allowed.

Stella:    And yet other animals were. I scented an owl, a porcupine, a possum, small horses, goats, ducks, chickens…

Me:        How do you know what a porcupine smells like?

Stella:    You weren’t around for my first year and a half. You don’t know what I experienced.

Me:        Did you run into a porcupine before you met us?

Stella:    Not the point, but I guessed right, didn’t I?

Me:        Mmmm. Yeah.

Stella:    Where did you go that we could not?

Me:        I volunteered at a Fall Festival at my church. It was for humans. Only humans. Families and kids. I worked a snow cone machine.

Stella:    Snow cones? I like snow cones.

Me:        And we had a popcorn machine.

Stella:    Popcorn? I like popcorn.

Me:        And a cotton candy machine.

Stella:    Cotton candy. I like to eat cotton.

Me:        Cotton candy is a little different. And we had hot dogs.

Stella:    That’s me.

Me:        And a petting zoo with ponies, goats, ducks, and chickens. And the City Zoo brought an owl and a possum and, yes, a porcupine.

Stella;    I knew it! They let other animals in, but not bulldogs. Unfair!

Me:        Maybe next year, Stella.

Stella:    I will volunteer, Lady Human, but only if I get one snow cone, two hot dogs, a bag of popcorn, and a taste of cotton candy. And if I can get petted by all the children. No adults, please. I can get petted by adults anytime.

 

 

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